Sorority Slaughterhouse

OK, first of all, a little housekeeping. As of 10/22/16, the synopsis reads, "A group of sorority girls with bad pasts, including one who just committed murder wake up one morning to learn that they are locked inside their sorority house. What's worse is they find out that an escape murderer, is in that same house." That is a complete lie. The film is entirely different.

Movie begins with Eric Roberts as Dean of a college, who has been having an affair with one of the students. He is on the phone with her as she breaks up with him, having sent him a 12" clown doll named "Bobo" as a "Breakup Gift." He doesn't take it too well, and starts ranting about "Making her and her sorority sisters pay, teasing men with their firm bodies... (etc)." He shoots himself, but his spirit ends up going into the clown doll. He decides to pay the sorority house a visit and kill everyone, and most of the movie is Bobo the clown doll stalking and killing the sorority sisters and the couple of boyfriends that are there.

The film is a cousin to the Puppet Master series, but with tongue firmly in cheek. As with films of this type, it either hits you in the right spot or not. But it definitely hit me in the right spot. I laughed consistently while watching the "effects" (basically, Bobo stands there still or a hand just off camera makes him bounce up and down) while Eric Roberts voices the clown ("Hi! I'm Bobo and you're pissing me off!"). The actresses are all smoking hot and while, unfortunately, there is no nudity, the two hottest actresses spend just about their entire screen time in bikinis. Director David DeCoteau has been making low-budget flicks for over 30 years now, and so it's competently directed, well lit, with clear sound. And Eric Roberts' voice-overs of Bobo are a hoot.

Definitely a guilty pleasure for me. But I guess I'm just a sucker for tongue-in-cheek horror comedies with a twelve-inch clown puppet as the villain.

Eric Roberts gets dumped by a student he is having an affair with. He doesn't take it well and shoots himself near a voodoo clown doll trapping his angry soul into the doll. The doll then sets out for revenge.

David DeCoteau is bringing back his Puppet Master days with this 12 inch murdering clown. You get kind of a Black Devil Doll From Hell feel when you see the clown going up the stairs etc. This is probably one of his best films since the 90's mostly because he avoids his usual homo erotic elements and brings us a good old campy flick. He still avoids nudity in his films even though he was the king of nudity in the 80's and 90's. One thing of interest is listening to Eric Roberts do a Newton type voice from Hercules, when he is in the doll running around. Overall a stupid film but entertaining none the less and 7000 times better than his Evil Exhumed (2016).

I see a lot of peoples making reviews and saying that a movie was so bad they made an account to "tell us" and/or that it was the worst thing they ever saw. I find this silly as i always find a few redeeming qualities about movie even if there is clear issues or if i was kinda bored. Well today i can pretty much say i watched the worst movie i ever saw.

So first of all, i am the kind of guy who enjoy low budget VOD (formerly Direct to VHS/DVD). I watch tons of them and i always judge them on how much they entertained me while taking into consideration their low budgets. I never expect to rewatch them or anything but if they moderately entertained me for 90 minutes, job done fine enough. I can't even do this with this movie.

So lets go over all the issues. First the acting was horrible. They make "actors" in Brazzers scenes look like Oscar contenders.

What about the directing/camera work/special effetcs? An Angry Video Game Nerd episode on Youtube look oscar worthy as well compare to this.

The biggest issue is the doll. Its not even animated ! They basically have it stand still or in some pre-made position, then they film in its "point of view" then switch to some feets moving to give the impression that its really moving, while a few times they had it shown in movement but it clearly looks like someone is holding it (can't see the bottom) and move it in front of a camera. No animatronic what so ever. Exept one close-up shot once, the mouth does not even move when it talks.

When i say i saw better special effects in an AVGN episode, i am not joking. This look like something some university student made for a projects. They rented a luxury house, paid a few models to "act" and somehow Eric Roberts ended up in it, wich is not surprising as for years he took gigs in all sort of terrible movies.

Some peoples could say this movie is so bad its good, like Tommy Wiseau's The Room, but no its not. The Room is quotable and while Tommy Wiseau acting is bad, he is so funny to watch. The situations are so absurde that it make the movie funny. This movie on the other hand is not once you realize it will be the same for the whole runtime.

Yes i did chuckle a bit during the 20 first minutes because i couldn't believe this was really that bad. I was hoping that at least i would get a few good kills with low budget practical effects wich would overlay over the bad acting, and maybe some T&A as the "actresses" (who can't act at all) are for the most part very attractive. But nope. Not even one little glimpse of nudity. There is even a goof in a bathub scene where you can see the character wear a bikini as water move (while she is supose to be naked and hidden by bubbles).

The doll not moving mean they were very limited with the kills and none of them are interesting even if on paper a couple had original concepts. We can't really see much... There is only one that is "shown" a bit more but the jump cuts to make it worth are so ridiculous.

Also for some reason this doll has the strengh of Michael Myers, being able to totally imobilize humans, while its 12 inches tall ...

Is there any redeeming quality in the movie? Well the music wasn't horrible... altough nothing special. The women were hot and spent most of the movie in bikinis... But thats not enough to be worth an extra point.

But with all of this said, i just want to make something clear. It may be the worst movie i saw on an "objective" and technical side of things. As in almost everything beside the music was completely incompetent and amateurish. BUT its nowhere near my most disliked movies like Black Christmas 2019 or Star Wars The Last Jedi because it is not offensive in any way....

It is just a terribly made movie made with a few thousand dollars (probably) that i will forget in 1 day.

This film essentially begins with a college professor by the name of "Dean Whitman" (Eric Roberts) being told by a young college female named "Allie" (Jessica Morris) that she has decided to break up with him. Extremely distressed by this, he then pulls out a gun and kills himself. As luck would have it, however, several drops of blood spray onto a voodoo doll that Allie had sent him and, as to that effect, his soul is transferred into the doll and comes to life--and he is filled with an incredible rage toward Allie and all of her sorority sisters. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this movie might have had possibilities if even a small amount of CGI or special effects had been added. Unfortunately, this was not the case and, as a result, there were a number of scenes involving young women either screaming at an 18-inch doll or running away from it. Admittedly, there were a couple of attractive actresses in this film but, quite honestly, none of them were able to overcome the lackluster plot, weak script, or any of the other faults just mentioned, and I have rated this film accordingly. Below average.

Were you expecting a B film? Sorority Slaughterhouse is a D film. If you didn't know to keep your expectations low from the title, you should after watching the cheapest title sequence ever put to film.

But you shouldn't be expecting much from a film called "Sorority Slaughterhouse." And the funny thing is that, as cheap as it is, I actually enjoyed it quite a bit.

There's a little skin. There are a few ridiculous, low-budget deaths. Just like you'd expect. But past that, SS is actually fun, with well-written, well-acted, charming characters.

Don't expect a masterpiece. It's not. But the fact that it was a little bit better than I expected was a pleasant surprise. I'm glad I took a chance on this.