Lily Tomlin and Julia Garner in Grandma (2015)

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Grandma

Sage: So, you used to like men?
Elle Reid: Oh, I always liked women, I just didn't like myself.

Sage: Everyone's gonna talk about it at school!
Elle Reid: What's he gonna say, 'Sage's grandma beat me up?'

Sage: You know, you have a real anger problem.
Elle Reid: No, no, I don't. I have an asshole problem. When people are assholes, I get angry.

Elle Reid: You need to be able to say 'screw you' sometimes.

Elle Reid: I like being old, young people are stupid.

Elle Reid: Don't make me fall, I could break a hip!

Elle Reid: Love does not conquer everything.

Elle Reid: Where can you get a reasonably priced abortion in this town?

Sage: Well, atleast I'm learning some new insults. My friends just pretty much call each other bitch, ho and slut.

Mom: Any idiot could see that you need to be supervised.
[looking towards Elle]
Mom: Am I right?
Elle Reid: Are you saying I'm "any idiot"?

Sage: Grandma, do you have any more ideas?
Elle Reid: Yeah, afraid I do.

Sage: So, you think women are better than men?
Elle Reid: Men are okay. My father was a man.
Sage: Mine was a sperm.

Karl: The teeth are the only thing we see on a person that'll still look the same when they're dead. When somebody smiles at you, they're showing you their skeleton.

Sage: What's a bonobo?
Elle Reid: A very advanced ape. The females run the show, they masturbate all the time and they don't have wars unlike chimps and humans.

[Young man charmingly looking at Sage]
Elle Reid: She's already pregnant.

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