The Secrets of Emily Blair

I am an enormous fan of movies about possession, films about possessed young ladies and exorcism are, for some reason my thing.

I hated this movie, I finished it, but barely, it annoyed and disappointed me at the same time. The reason I titled this review "YOu will not like this movie," is that it seems reasonable that if I don't like this one, you won't either.

This movie sucks so hard it is pathetic. It is as far some insipid idiot who thought they were great at making movies tried way too hard. I am dumber after watching this movie, and not in a got stoned and feel good way. Just plain dumber. It makes me sick to my stomach, and not in a horror movie thrill kind of way either. The plot was entirely predictable. The voice acting is WAY too over the top without any irony. This movie takes it self way too seriously. I guess I did have some laughs thinking about how someone thought this movie was good enough to release! lol. I am going to film myself throwing crosses at squirrels and making Devilish Satanic voices about how the squirrels are possessed and then pan out to a very large turd in the driveway. All of sudden, blood red eyes will appear in the turd and the squirrels will freak out and run up a tree that has a circular saw running and the squirrels will get cut in half from the saw blade. There, I made a better movie than this.

Besides the bad acting from a few of the actors, the movie was "eh." It started off like any normal horror flick with a few intense sequences and creepy camera angles. But after about 25 minutes, you just stop caring about the characters. They don't react the way a normal person in their situation would and it was kind of annoying.

You know those movies where you expect someone to react in a way and they do the complete opposite? That's kind of how this movie was; just OK.

The makeup team did a great job with the character Emily; she didn't look like the same person by the end of the film.

Overall, this movie could have been a lot better if they worked with the story a little more and had better direction given to the main actor and priest. Other than that, Emily's character was done well.

I must admit, I had zero expectations from this one. Another exorcism film, sadly (or better yet ridiculously) trying to live up to The Exorcism of Emily Rose (I mean come on, even her name). Many such attempts have failed in the past few years, and all I wanted was to enjoy an exorcism film I haven't yet seen, in hopes that it wouldn't bring the level down too much. I'm happy to say I've been very pleasantly surprised!

The film starts as one might have expected. Nothing remotely innovative, original, or impressive. A cookie cutter story of a kindhearted nurse becoming possessed. I was a little annoyed that they cast an eye-candy-and-nothing-more, and half-expected her to do very poorly. My sincere apologies to Hellen Hollman for that terrible misconception, as nothing could have been farther from the truth. After all the possessed women we've seen on screen, she still managed to be impressive, both as Emily and her "demon-self".

On that matter, while the story felt slightly forced and in no way compelling, the cast made everything right. First of all, seeing Colm Meaney as a priest about to perform his first exorcism in a Horror film? Nothing less than a treat! Not his best performance ever, but not at all below standards (and high ones for that matter). Will Kemp and Adrian Paul were excellent as well as concerned fiancée William and former priest Henry Roizman respectively.

In addition, while I didn't so much like the way they designed the demon itself, displaying the way Emily attempts to fight it is one of the two sole original features in this film (and a great idea). The second being, of course, the ending (which lacks any impressive or special characteristics, as Horror endings often do, but is original to some extent in its own way - you'll realize when you get to it).

All in all, surprisingly good and well-made, and another Horror film poorly judged by IMDb ratings. Honestly, take my word for it and never trust this site's ratings or reviews (present company in no way excluded). If the trailer and plot synopsis (or cover photo, or cast, or crew, or any manner by which you choose what to watch) appeal to you - watch it. If they don't - don't. However, I would certainly give The Secrets of Emily Blair a chance. I'm sure glad I did.

I am not ever sure why I gave this movie a shot—so many exorcism movies are just retreads of other, better movies. Perhaps it was the length (only about 90 minutes). Perhaps it was a few of the stars, like Colm Meaney, Adrain Paul and Tom Wright—all so very good. Whatever the reason it was a huge waste of time.

I try not to write bad reviews, but this film really was terrible. I kept falling asleep. It was full of action, lots and lots of the possessed star—Ellen Hollman as Emily Blair—acting like a demon and starling and hissing, and lots of gore too. But it was just silly, and despite all the stuff that was going on, I was bored to tears. Even the actors I mentioned above were sub-par, which is sad, because they are such good actors. Maybe it was the directing by Joseph P. Genier? Or was it simply that the script was so bad that no one, not director or stars, could do anything with it? So blasé. So stereotypical. So sensationalistic. Right down to the part where Meaney, as the priest, tells Emily Blair's husband that the church just doesn't do exorcisms anymore.

I wonder how they got Larry Drake—the John Doe of the film in a very small part—to be in this? To do his first film in years? He was actually kind of scary, but he is in and out of the film way too fast for our own good.

Please don't waste your time on this movie. Because it really is a waste of time. How sad.