Massacre on Aisle 12

Stupendously splendid tale about moron employees at a hardware store fighting for a bag of money and their lives on Christmas Eve. Gloriously told through the eyes of the newly hired Dave, this is a superbly wonderful romp through horror comedy tropes chock full of holiday cheer and a bit of blood.

A pair of dimwit bank robbers stash their stolen loot in a hardware store and it gets discovered by an even more dimwitted staff. They all want the money, but someone keeps plucking them off, one by one. Who is the killer and who will get the money? It doesn't really matter because this cast is uproariously funny and packs some major talent (see also Amber Jean as Santa's Elf for even more talent).

I died laughing about 19 times watching this movie (Otto also dies about 19 times, which is another story). This is a horror comedy for the ages and will now been added to my annual Christmas Movie Extravaganza Weekend for this holiday and beyond.

8/10 (+1 for the gut-busting outtake reel on the DVD) = 9/10 stars total

This movie is "ok" Not anything is supercool.

No transformers.

It was allright:)

Labeled as a horror comedy or a dark comedy. Massacre on Aisle 12 is a lower budget independent film about a new employee whose first day working at a retail store discovers a dead body and a duffle bag of cash inside a large cabinet.

The comedy here is entirely forced, with its one liners and back and forth style babbling with crude remarks and such.

The lead character of Dave is about the only likeable character. Black Jack would be a close second. Otherwise, just about every other character is obnoxious, crude, bizarre and tries too hard. Filled with constant stereotypical characters and racist dialogue.

The film is relatively short in runtime which is beneficial. The ending revealing how the dead body and cash were found in the cabinet was slightly disappointing yet perhaps the most obvious outcome.

The film is definitely gory and has some solid gruesome kills which helps it's dark/black comedy aspect.

Overall, Aisle 12 isn't anything memorable or special. Some of these high rated reviews are massively overrating the film and do not understand how many found the film to be "really hilarious". As a rewatch 12 25 24' opinions remain same. The film certainly feels like it thinks it's more clever and funny than it is. The comedy is very forced and over the top. Perhaps slightly worse on the second viewing.

No idea why I ended up watching this, I saw it online and clicked play as it had a high rating.

Basically a guy starts a new job at this shopping mall ( we never really see the Mall and at first I thought he was at a small convenience shop )

It's Xmas Eve they tell you this at the start and there is a seedy Santa and a big boobed trashy blonde elf to keep up the Xmas spirit.

We have some flashback sequences of all the stores workers interviews, This sets up everyone's one dimensional stereotype, nice !!!

From there they discover a dead body and bag of money and they all argue/fight over what to do and who is the killer.

This a low budget film, possibly a homage to bad 80s films or just a bad film, who knows ???

It's pure corny slapstick with over exaggerated facial expressions and hammy dialogue.

It is shot and lighted well etc, and kind of passes all the basic filmmaking rules.

No soundtrack/music which was strange!!!

At times I was expecting to hear some Tom and Jerry cartoon type sounds or music, but nope.

I gave it a 4/10 being generous as it reminded me of 80s slapstick comedies and a few times I chuckled.

If your a bit bored and nothing else to watch and you like slapstick then try it. If not then I'd avoid it.

An average corny 4/10.

Because this movie nearly had me busting out of mine with laughter. I've been waiting for a movie like Massacre on Aisle 12 for a long time. One that isn't afraid to embrace the type of humor that presses on the touchy issues and wiggles a finger at the establishment (and I won't say which finger).

The story follows the employees of a hardware store on Christmas Eve after they find a dead body and tempting amount of mystery cash that stokes their greed and leads them to plot, scheme, and ultimately turn on each other for a chance at the money.

The cast is downright amazing and runs jokes off each other like well-executed football plays. Directors Jim Klock (who also plays Otto) and William Mark McCullough (Santa) co-quarterback this offensive- line of future comedy superstars. Chad Ridgely (Jack) scores big laughs and delivers a punchline filled performance that takes going off the deep end to a new level. Melissa Saint-Amand (Tara) and Aikido Burgess (Black Jack) fire off one-liners and comebacks like well-placed precision passes. Amber Jean (Barbie) cheer-leads the group with able bodied (or should I say able-boobed) bounciness and Doug Burch (Mr. Kipper) calls out enough creepiness from his playbook to keep you from comfortably showering in the locker room ever again.

All these characters combine to deliver the movie into the end zone for a well-earned touchdown and Michael Buonomo (Dave), whose character expertly receives each joke with poise and confidence, kicks the straight-man game through the uprights for extra points.

Massacre on Aisle 12 is a fresh, hard-hitting comedy that lampoons all of today's hot-button topics while coyly smirking in your face, yet adeptly keeping you wanting more.