mcoats-71101

Some Hollywood exec thought it would be a good idea to base an entire movie on the emojis on your phone. Oh and Candy Crush features because you know...it's also on your phone. Was it a dry period for ideas? Was this thought up by someone sitting on the toilet?

So they're absolutely stretching it as a concept as it is - but then add a terrible, obvious plot and that uber turd James Corden as a voice actor (seriously Hollywood there are other British people out there!) and you've got one of the worst animated movies of all time.

I'm seriously hoping someone lost their job over this one, just ridiculously bad.

Some movies should just stay as one offs. Not everything needs a sequel and this relates to no other film more than Gladiator. It was a superb standalone film. My heart sort of sank when they announced a second one but I thought I'd give it a go.

Ok so positives: it's visually stunning although it uses almost too much CGI, the battle scenes are as you'd expect - almost exactly like the first film, with loads of blood and gore (but again too much technology is used). It's got a stellar cast as well.

What I didn't like was that it was so haphazardly put together, almost hurriedly but they've had years to do it. It was a mix of the same script as the first one with some bolt on tropes from all other historical films you've seen. A few famous quotes chucked into a terrible pre-battle speech for example, the love interest who gives her warrior a token (you just know she won't make it), the screaming at the sky scene. All so obvious. Add to that the most wooden performance of Pascal's career, a script written by Chat GPT and the duo of evil (posh English) emperors both trying to rip off Phoenix's performance and you've got a typical Hollywood shower of crap.

I don't know what is happening over in Hollywood but it seems to be that someone makes a mildly successful film and then almost every other film in that genre just copies it almost scene for scene. No wonder AI is about to take over when the creativity of humans is stifled by this crud.

It's the usual story of a couple of spies who have kids, lives a 'secret' but incredibly well to do life in the burbs and then have to get back into it for spurious reasons. Yep you've seen The Incredibles so you know what I mean.

Cue a couple of wise cracking kids, one of whom thinks their parents are so lame, same old badly choreographed fights and the usual jokes like "awww hell no they're kissing" and "mom sux" and you've basically got the plot. Oh and the two leads have had so much work done they look like their faces have been replaced by some weird plastic replicas of themselves. Awful performance by Foxx especially. But awful generally.