richard-crystal

Based on the life of 60s failed-actress-turned-authoress, (and I say "authoress" and not "writer")Jacquline Susann, this snooze-fest is totally for those camp-loving followers of the Divine Miss M. The best thing that can be said about it are the 60s costumes and automobiles! Bette Midler portrays Susann as Bette Midler portraying Susann. Nathan Lane is her husband-on-a-leash Irving Mansfield who, as played by Lane was simply along for the ride. Lane is sadly miscast. Let's face it, he's just too emotional to portray anyone who would sleep with Susann. (I can't but help remember the late great Truman Capote who described Susann on a talk show as a "truck driver in drag"). The only saving grace in this mess is Stockard Channing as a fictional rich friend of Susann's and you can tell she's playing it for all it's not-worth. This movie shows up every so often on cable and may I suggest if nothing else is on, turn off the TV.

Although I was a tad old for this show when it went into syndication sometime in the mid-70s, I was nonetheless fascinated by host Laurie Faso and the voice of "The Magnificent Movie Machine". Basically a show for children that came out of Connecticut. If I recall correctly, it was usually shown on Saturday mornings as an educational alternative to Hanna-Barbera reruns. Faso played Marlo, the host and I have no idea who voiced "Machine". Short films & cartoons were featured all with an informative message. By today's standards it may be considered bland fare indeed. However primitive or low-budget, it must have made an impression on me if I can remember it 30 years later.

Filmed for a then-astonishing $20 million the costumes and sets are what stands out in this adaptation of the David Merrick-produced long running musical of the mid 60s. Streisand is downright annoying as matchmaker Dolly Gallagher Levi to such an extent that by the time the parade has passed by you could smack her. Yes, that fabulous big voice does the Jerry Herman score more than justice but her personality is so irritating that one more nasal exclamation will set your teeth on edge by the closing credits. It is said that Carol Channing was never considered for the role, Elizabeth Taylor (!) was a possibility, but gee, last I heard Liz could never sing. Walter Mattahau is perfect as cranky, half-a-millionaire Horace Vandergelder and while EJ Peaker, Marianne McAndrew and Danny Lockin do well in supporting roles, Michael Crawford is so embarrassingly nebbishy as Conelius Hackl that you pray he would butch up his act. Also, in watching this over the last 30 years, there is so much lack of continuity in the editing that it has become a game to pick out the faux-pas. In spite of it's shortcomings the film still hold it's own as good, basic family fare decades later. (One note as to casting; Ann-Margret was originally considered as Irene Molly but was deemed by producers as to be too "distracting" where Barbra was concerned!).