Devils_advocake

This movie sums up literally everything that's wrong with the world today.

It starts off quite well then steadily disintegrates into pure pap.

The main character is a completely dislikeable entitled teen who talks to her father like dog doo whilst he pussy foots around her as he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. This is where my opening comment comes in. He should of shut that straight down.. it's all too often the story now.

So straight away we have a dislikable main character pitiful parent.

So.. she does that then we're treated to more of her with a face like a slapped backside mumbling miserably to a group of equally irritating mumbling entitled miseries...

We stopped watching it after about 15 minutes... Even the thought of watching them being probably really colourfully slaughtered didn't entice us to be in the company of those characters any longer.

If you're an entitled teen, new to the world let alone horror you'll probably relate and like it. I guess that was the target audience and I'm being unkind. But for a grown up, who would never of considered talking to his parents like rubbish let alone let his children get away with it, this movie massively sucked..

What a load of self absorbed pap.

I wish I could leave this there but I need to use another 500 characters.

There is nothing good about this film.

Self absorbed self centred wife, weak enabling husband, boorish friends.. the dogs, cat and the kid are cute though.

Needless to say it all pans out in her favour in the end and the husband realises how selfish he's been by going to work and supporting the family whilst she's doing all the hard work obviously. Nasty man..

She begrudges him, the child, the poor cat, her inability to indulge her creativity then goes off on random rants on how she and other women are gods and how children destroy that..

How people get away with writing such drivel let alone getting it turned into movies is beyond me. I think Amy's piled in a few pounds and needed some work that called for a big girl so set this up herself maybe..

Why did I watch it? I love dogs! I thought it was going to be like digby for grown ups not the actual parp I was presented with.

Nil point.

I'm not going to compare this with the 1979 mini series/tv film as there is no comparison. None. Na-da. Nope. Nothing...

This film fails in many ways, mostly in its status as an adaptation of what's possibly one of Kings greatest books as it fails to deliver anything that was good about that book. There is no character development, there is no real delving into the wonderful history, past or present of the town that King imagined for this story. Indeed if you have not read the book or see either adaptation leading up to this failed effort you'd be completely lost. It relies as a film in it's own right that you have at least a basic knowledge of the previous media releases to even get the mildest of grips of what is going on from the offset.

We are thrown straight into the story, immediately introduced to the antagonists leaving now suprises for the rest of the film. It's given to you on a plate in the first 5 minutes. Remember that terrifying moment in the '79 version when we're introduced to properly Mr Barlow for the first time, and my god how we are introduced to him, forget that. He's there on a plate throughout in this film for you not to marvel at.

Then there's Straker. A character beautifully developed in the book and portrayed so wonderfully by James Mason previously. He's reduced to a bit part character of nearly no significance in this movie, his eventual (early) dispatch as watery and pathetic as it's woke nature. A sub human familiar dispatched with ease to serve a narrative, as pitiful as it was predictable.

Then there's the ending. I was just glad to see that a particular vampire remembered where she parked to make her easy to find for the wontonly wishy washy Ben Mears that is portrayed in this film. Then of course our woke baby hero saves the day as our useless Ben flounders to a plethora of vampires. Usually I can see some humor in these films, have a laugh at how silly they are but I found this how charade a little offensive to be honest.

The sad thing is that I knew it would be poor, I knew it, I expected it and in that sense, in that only sense I wasn't dissapointed.

Do yourself a favour. Get some snacks, drinks and sit down for 4 hours and watch the original mini series, the 3 hour tv film of the series is a good edit but the true wonderful story lies in the original adaptation. Yes the effects are dated, yes it's silly in places as all of Kings works are but it has Soul and I don't just mean the David kind.

And yes, I didn't really mention the 2004 version on purpose.