patrick-413

This was a pretty good by-the-numbers crime flick. Statham was solid and watchable as always.

My problem here is the acting from literally everyone else. There are some AWFUL performances throughout from the secondary characters. Does Ritchie even care a LITTLE about the acting in his movies? You know, a director is in charge of the action (fine) the story (fine), but most of all - he is in charge of the ACTORS. The performances they give.

Other than Statham, the acting here was about as bad as a full-budget movie can get. Take for instance the guys in the armored car at the beginning. That was high-school level acting at BEST.

And don't even get me started on Eddie Marsan. What the hell kind of American accent was he even attempting. That was embarrassing to watch. I felt bad for him, but worse for myself for having to watch it.

Long story short: don't bother with this if you want to see a good, well-directed movie. It's a time-waster that you should only see if you have some time to kill and can't find anything else.

I'm not sure if I'm allowed to just write "nope" like, 75 times? Probably not. I once complained about the way they make you write a certain amount of characters, and they blocked my review. But the important thing is: this isn't even a movie.

I mean, it's not even entertainment. It certainly bears NO relation to either cinema or literature, or, in fact, any form of art ever created by humans. You know how a Big Mac is not really nutrition? Well, this movie makes that Big Mac seem like a well-balanced meal with lean chicken breast and quinoa.

Amazon has apparently decided to turn on mankind and wipe us out, starting with turning our brains to mush. We need to fight this, any way we can. Start with NEVER watching this "movie".

I've never seen a franchise with the same stars and director go off the rails so completely in its second outing. It's almost as though Patty Jenkins was upset that she wasn't the writer of the first film, and wanted to show everyone she could do better herself.

She could not.

Gal Gadot was still fairly charming, though something seemed off about her performance. It didn't have the same dynamic presence this time out. Chris Pine was fine as faux Steve Trevor. Other actors mostly did what they could with the bad writing, although Pedro Pascal seemed completely lost in his role.

And that brings us to the worst part: both villains made NO SENSE. I won't go into spoilers, but let's just say that they both had no reason to make any choices they made, and the movie suffers for it. And Pascal's Max Lord character arc - and power arc - is such nonsense that I had to turn the movie off a few times, just to work up the will to keep watching.

The more I write, the more I think my "3" score is far too generous, but Gadot as W. W., the fine score, and a couple of watchable set pieces make it... I can't say "entertaining", but at least slightly watchable.

But that doesn't mean I recommend YOU watch it. You don't need to put yourself through this ordeal. Do anything else, and you'll be happier.