james_cocos-snowboots

Hunk is a retelling of the proverbial Ugly Duckling tale, only with humans, rather than ducks, epitomizing 80's trends. The makers of Hunk certainly had their work cut out for them whilst making this groundbreaking film, since the affliction of insecurity usually only strikes females with glasses on film.

The story: Bradley invents a successful computer program about yuppies, goes to live in a dilapidated beach house in the California yuppie colony Sea Spray, and discovers that he is quite different from the others because he is a nerd. He has already sold his soul to the devil in order to make the successful computer program, and so, once he wishes to be a hunk, his wish is satisfied by the devil's handmaiden, O'Brien, on whom Bradley develops a crush. Bradley, now Hunk Golden, is unleashed on the unassuming folks of Sea Spray to cause an uproar with his utter hunkiness, which he plays up by wearing a sleeveless, unbuttoned button-up shirt accented by a tie. Nice.

Despite finding love with his psychologist, Sunny, Hunk Golden soon discovers that being a Hunk isn't all he dreamed it would be and so he embarks on a metaphysical battle with the devil, a.k.a. Dr. D. (played by the one and only, James Coco) for his soul. Will Hunk Golden remain a hunk in exchange for his mortal soul, or will he give up his status as a Hunk and live as Bradley Brinkman?

What a relief to finally see a funny, smart, yet insecure male nerd wish to be a brawny, tanned hunk, and to be ironically reminded that the inner beauty of the male can also be obscured by a repulsively unattractive exterior. And Bradley Brinkman didn't even have to wear glasses to represent a nerd, because they just had a different actor portray Hunk Golden.

If you are an insecure nerd, this movie will undoubtedly boost your self-esteem. If not, you'll get lots of laffs from the endless cheese. Highlights: O'Brien dancing at the nightclub, and Hunk's trendsetting style. And, if WWIII ever breaks out, I guess those of us who have watched Hunk will know who's REALLY responsible.

...Not that the Oscars are any indication of a film's greatness, and to prove that point this film was nominated for Worst Rodent Movie of All Time by the Golden Turkey Awards.

There are a pack of humongous starving shrews loose on a desolate island. A bunch of "scientists" travel to the island to be terrorized by the shrews.

Okay, so the dogs yowling because they have wet bathmats appended to their backs, and masks to their faces, are hilarious, I mean terrifying; the attempts made to conceal their caninity are also veeeery clever; Thorn Sherman is heroically disinterested; the music is horrifyingly melodramatic; hackneyed theories involving the shrews abound; and the method of escape is one of the most laughingly novel ever recorded on film. All of this, and the realization that these people spend most of the film living in paralyzing fear of the silliest monsters ever created make this film great.

The interior shots are filmed inside the greatest cabin ever. It is difficult to discern whether the walls are decorated with wallpaper, or are just supposed to be extremely filthy. The mantel features a haphazardly placed set of candle holders, a beer stein, a clock set horizontally on the edge, and all to emphasize the focal point of the room- a picture hanging above the mantel of horse legs beside a lake. The perfect, nay the only, setting for bloodthirsty shrews to terrorize scientists and their lackeys.

"It's alright, doctor, he just ripped my trousers. That's all." Never underestimate a killer shrew.

"She loved that old tomcat.Yes she did." Too bad Annie's old tomcat was fed Lotus cat food. Made from the ground flesh of corpses, Lotus cat food is the product of a greedy plot to make easy money from cat owners looking to feed their cats. But, the trouble (according to the doctor's encyclopedia entry about flesh-eating cats)is that the cats fed the Lotus cat food become accustomed to the taste of ground human flesh, and quit hunting the flesh of faster animals. Makes sense to me. Cats begin attacking humans in the town, leaping into the neck, and shredding the flesh. Oddly, the cats refrain from actually eating the humans,or even making much of a mess of the corpses by, say, drinking the blood or something, contrary to the explanation given by the encyclopedia article.

Corpse Grinders is a good film. Any movie with the following elements can't be too bad: every character lacks peripheral vision (such a common affliction among characters in B films); the batty wife of one of the racketeers tenderly cares for a pint sized baby doll while complaining of bodies piling up in the living room; the pointless inclusion of a mute chick with a crutch and the miraculous ability to communicate using pidgin sign language; and the music from Blood Feast playing during a rather Blood Feast-like killing scene. However, the film is kind of lacking imagination. Despite the couple of odd characters, it's pretty straight forward camp. Still, I'd rather watch this than countless other films. Also, if you're watching the DVD version, make sure to sit through the (brief) credits in order to see the awesome trailer, which I would give 10/10, if I could rate it alone.