zink-paul

Set in rural England in 1947, "A Prvate Function" centers around Michael Palin, a podiatrist, who moves to a smallish Yorkshire town with his social climbing wife, Maggie Smith, and aged and dotty mother-in-law, Liz Smith. The leading professional men in the town are organizing a celebration dinner on the occasion of the marriage of Princess Elizabeth and the Danish-Greek Prince Phillip. The only problem with the banquet is that food rationing is very much in force, yet "Pork Royale" is the centerpiece dish to be served to 150 chosen guests. This requires collusion with a local farmer and a dishonest butcher (Pete Postlethwaite), a conspiracy among the afore-mentioned local businessmen, and a game of cat-and-mouse between the forces of Pork Royale and the government meat inspector, sprightly played straight-faced by Bill Paterson.

Into to this setting of complex machinations stumbles "foot doctor" MIchael Palin, to find himself shunned and insulted by the haughty medical doctor in town, played superbly by Denholm Eliot, and subsequently railroaded out of his new "surgery" on "The Parade" (the posh main street). The Worm turns, and revenge is vowed: hilarity ensues.

Tamar Hoffs, Susanna's control-freak mommy, wrote and directed this dog of movie, which was Susanna Hoffs' first (and understandably only) feature motion picture. Shot and released at the height of the Bangles' fame and popularity, lead singer Susanna-gorgeous and oozing sex appeal-should have been able to make fans and movie viewers alike swoon and drool had she been starring in even a dog food commercial, yet this ridiculously lame version of a 1950s beach blanket bingo party movie manages to bury her talent and beauty in a soggy quiche of banal script and inane plot. Fast forward through to near the end to enjoy the one scene where Susanna Hoffs is dancing around to rock music in her bikini-brief lingerie, but be warned: that's as good as it's going to get. Evidently her mother Tamar was front and center during the shooting of her "guy finally gets the girl" sex scene, to make 100% certain that not a speck of titillating Susanna flesh showed (this is the late 1980s.mind you). Her mother succeeded in ensuring both her imagined chastity and the demise of her film career-a shame, because Susanna Hoffs displayed hints and glimmers of real acting talent in this sorry waste of good film stock. (BTW, I gave it a five-star rating because Susanna Hoffs is so damn delicious just to look at...)

The very tongue-in-cheek title, "Cold Pursuit", should give viewers a small hint, that this film won't be yet another "I will track you down and kill you" action flick; on the contrary, it's rather more in the vein of a "my name is Inigo Montoya; you killed my father: prepare to die" adventure. We're so used to seeing Liam Neeson as a humorless revenge-driven machine, that we forget his acting range, and skill at deadpan sly comedy. Half-way through this, I remembered his fine early film, the sly comedy "Gun Shy", where he played a burned-out CIA assassin who seeks psychotherapy while all the time getting involved in an undercover operation targeting a Mafia boss superbly played by Oliver Platt. This movie is equally hilarious, though with many more dead bodies, yet played completely deadpan, all against a backdrop of gorgeously bleak and majestic winter scenery in the Rockies.

A fine supporting cast of thugs (all with ridiculous nicknames) and local police-especially Emily Rossum as a zealous town police officer-rounds out the acting talent, and the plot does not distract the viewer with tangential backstory or subplots, though there are one or two surprising little twists with secondary characters that play important roles in the inevitable denouement.

Not everyone lives happily ever after at the end, although this viewer certainly did by the closing credits. Nine out of 10 stars wholeheartedly.