conyo

I do not write many thing here anymore, mostly due to the imbecile politics and character limit.

But. But this thing is ... good. And I want people to know it.

I'm not a shill, I'm not a bot, nobody paid me to write it.

I read the comic in the last millenium. As in, in the 90's. Still Iron Curtain, that was one of my glimpses of "The West". And I was truly impressed.

Then, they made a movie. Unfortunately, with a wrong ending - but with Malin Akerman (here replaced by Katie Sackhoff from Battlestar Galactica, super nice touch).

And this, this is more than good. It just follows the comic book almost to the letter. Very, very impressed. I'd give it 8, but I'm bumping it to 9 because of fidelity.

"I am not locked here with you. You are locked here with me". I truly hope next two chapters are going to be a masterpiece. Please keep following the comic to the letter, not the simplified Snyder movie.

I expected battles. Massive battles. Ingenious command. Blood, gore and cannon fire.

And what did I get? Harlequin-style romance.

Huge disappointment.

Plus, the required filler, thank the gods for new technology. A visually stunning war epic, but emotionally hollow. Joaquin Phoenix's ghostly portrayal lacks depth. Explosive battles, yet a missed opportunity for substance. Flavorless grandeur. Verdict: Spectacular but lacking heart.

And now, for a touch of levity: Why did Napoleon refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of getting dealt a Waterloo.

What did Napoleon say when he saw the Mona Lisa? "I've conquered bigger things." Why did Napoleon keep his armies in his sleeve? Because he wanted to conquer the world single-handedly.

What's Napoleon's favorite dessert? Shortbread.

I love sci-fi, so decided to give it a try - a lot of non-Hollywood sci-fis are kinda great. And this Kazakhi (?) feature seemed interesting.

Unfortunately, this did not hit a mark. It started rather OK, but quickly went sideways. Multiple plots, shaky camera, horrible dubbing... Even beautiful Kristianna Loken couldn't change the movie for the better. And the special defects were... not great. Asylum-level crap.

I don't think this was a low-budget production, to be honest. But, it really wasn't good. After an hour or so I started playing with the phone, reading news, checking tinder and all that.

Oh lovely Kristianna, why did you play here.