tom-darwin

Forget about crystal meth, Special K, Ecstacy and Prozac. Take a trip back to the mythical days of junk bonds and leveraged buyouts, when a Prince poured Purple Rain, Oliver North poured it on thick and Dr. Huxtable always knew best. In Miami the blowdried but fearless defenders of Right & Justice prowled the streets in a Ferrari to ward off foreign pharmacists with more advanced weaponry than Gorbachev. Miami detectives Crockett (Farrell, who was still watching "Speed Racer" when Don Johnson was The Mann)& Tubbs (Foxx) are seconded to the Feds in order to infiltrate a multi-layered Colombian mob with unlimited resources in assault rifles, planes, electro-surveillance & Bodies by Soloflex. The mob hires Our Heroes, who've had their identities carefully crafted into hardened hoods, as a new means of getting the goods into the States. Running block for CrocketTubbs is the enigmatic Lt. Castillo (Henley), who's back though Black, a rotund patrician instead of Olmos's ghostly bureaucrat, though Castillo still hasn't learned to use articles or pronouns any better since the Reagan days. There are babes, of course, tawny and naked, but they're mostly cops, which is a bore since Mann has little talent for female characters who don't simper. The exception is the mistress & negotiator of Mr. Big (Gong), delegated to supervise CrocketTubbs. There's no more point to the movie than there was to the show. Everyone just looks wistful, troubled and determined in the midst of their surf, sunshine & zillion-dollar toys. The brooding is punctuated with threats, flexing, betrayal and the ritual Pointing of The Firearms, yet there's astonishingly little action. The photography is so impressive that you'd think you were watching "National Geographic," or maybe an ad for Carnival Cruises. If Crockett is supposed to be a scruffily beautiful Dick Tracy, then Farrell portrays him better than Tom Hanks could do (oh, wait, what was Hanks doing back in the eighties?). The other actors are all suitably gorgeous, menacing, treacherous or doomed, as needed. Four outstanding actors--Foxx, Gong, Hinds and Henley--aren't enough to make a Ferrari into a Donatello, but then who could? Foxx brings a spirited fire into Tubbs that is a bit of shock to those who remember the dapper Tonto of P.M. Thomas. Gong, one of the most courageous & talented portrayers ever to grace the screen, is ghostly, sad & sexy but the script doesn't give her a chance to be mysterious. Plenty of guns, but no attempt to give Crockett a signature sidearm like his old Bren Ten or Bond's perennial Walther. In fact, there's little product placement, a technique that I thought Mann pioneered. Die-hard fans who need their Vice shouldn't be too disappointed, but others will wonder why CrocketTubbs go on about cocaine in the age of Bin Laden & the Patriot Act. In 15 or 20 years we'll have a "24" movie, no doubt. Until then, there are still "Vegas," "21 Jump Street," "Remington Steele," "TJ Hooker" and "Sledge Hammer" to bring to the big screen. And Don Johnson himself can get back into movies by resurrecting "Barnaby Jones."

It was nearly certain that 1903's "The Great Train Robbery," popularly known as the first movie, would be remade in some form at some point. It's just fortunate that it turned out to be a clever, imaginative action/adventure rather than the dull-minded, big-budget exploitations we've had to endure in remakes & sequels in recent years. Conman and "cracksman" (bank robber) Edward Pierce aka John Sims (Connery) masquerades as a "sharp businessman" to enter a London gentleman's club and scope out a "ring-flash pull." He settles on the British Army's monthly payroll for the Crimean campaign, a shipment of solid gold sent in two special Chubb safes on a guarded railroad car. Much of the film is devoted to the collection of the four keys needed to open the two safes: two kept in a very secure railway office, one by "square-rigged" bank President Trent (Webb) and one by oversexed bank manager Fowler (Terris). To do all this & the climactic robbery, Sims assembles a colorful crew: theater actress Miriam (Down), who's also his mistress; pickpocket & "screwsman" Agar (Sutherland); driver & strong-arm Barlow (Downing); and "snakesman" Clean Willy (Sleep, in a unique & outstanding role), who can reputedly climb "a wall of glass." Sutherland has one of his best roles as the gifted safecracker who's both deft and hilariously awkward. Down combines sexiness & funniness as well as Marilyn Monroe ever did & it's an injustice that no one else has ever said so. But there's no match for Connery in a role that was made for him: a charming, polished, gentleman rogue ("No respectable gentleman is THAT respectable," he insists), as long on charisma as he is short on honor. Sims will resort to anything, even murder, to protect his interests & get what he wants, but it's impossible to hate him. Instead, Connery gives an outlet to the villain in each of us, the side that wants to stick it to the Man by robbing a bank or bamboozling the IRS, but can't be aired in real life by anything more dastardly than voting Mickey Mouse for President without fear of arrest. Prolific novelist and erstwhile doctor Crichton, in his first directorial effort, exercises firm control in bringing his own novel to the screen, seeming to know exactly what he wants to say & how to say it. Every time it seems that the film is about to lag, it somehow just picks up again--even at the very end--making it difficult to find a place to get a soda & popcorn refill or a bathroom break. Make your theater logistical arrangements carefully before setting out on this train.

There's not much more daunting than depicting a sea battle in a movie. Even with a big budget, warships don't come to life easily for the layman, who must also get a sound-bite run-down on the principles of naval warfare. But the popularity of WWII movies until the 1970s meant that some had to be made & it's a wonder they mostly turned out pretty well. "In Harm's Way" was as good as any except "Tora Tora Tora." Bassett's novel, based on his wartime service as an aide to Admiral Halsey, is brought to the screen faithfully by Preminger, along with a bathtub full of toy ships and a well-chosen cast. As the title, part of a quote from John Paul Jones, suggests, main character 'Rock' Torrey (Wayne) is a captain who believes he exists only to make trouble for the enemy. After his cruiser is damaged while making an unauthorized pursuit of the Japanese Pearl Harbor Striking Force, he faces a disgraceful end to his career. A new commander in the Pacific (Fonda, obviously depicting Admiral Nimitz) instead rules that Torrey's cool but unshakable aggressiveness is just the ticket, promoting him to rear admiral and giving him an amphibious force in the Southwest Pacific to destroy Japanese island garrisons. Torrey's challenges on his own side dwarf those presented by the enemy for most of the story. These include: his aide and best friend Captain Eddington (Douglas), who's as dastardly & slovenly as he is brave & brilliant; his manipulative but indecisive regional commander Admiral Broderick (Andrews, apparently depicting the much-maligned Admiral Ghormley); his awkward but persistent affair with Navy nurse Maggie (Neal); and his even more awkward relationship with his estranged son (De Wilde) by his two-timing wife (Bouchet), a particular problem since young Torrey is in his father's command and in love with a young nurse (Haworth) who's also dating Eddington. Through all this Torrey must plan offensives with scant resources against a skilled, aggressive enemy who's just as determined to wipe out his force. A convoluted story & minimal props & effects (even with US Navy support) place a lot of demands on the actors & director, all of whom proved equal to the challenge. Douglas is fine as Eddington, a character worthy of 'Le Morte d'Arthur,' a warrior of matchless skill & bravery but a reckless cad with a vicious streak. Douglas might have overshadowed the lead character but Wayne is in his element as Torrey, perfectly depicting the admiral as a quiet but indefatigable professional war leader, whose only weaknesses are his love for his troubled friend, his aloof son & the long-suffering Maggie. Preminger uses Torrey's staff to keep the show from becoming maudlin, including a fearless Marine colonel (Kennedy), an Australian coastwatcher (Holloway) and a dauntless planner (Meredith). Tryon leads a subplot about a young officer--a reluctant hero like much like Torrey--who becomes the admiral's aide despite his attempts to either remain with his former crew or get a shore assignment to placate his wife (Prentiss). O'Neal is very good as a slimy but artless commander & former congressman sent by Broderick to spy on & undermine Torrey (a character maybe based on then-President Johnson, also a commander & former congressman in the South Pacific?). War movies are typically as unkind to actresses as Westerns, but Neal does as much to bring life & relevance to Maggie as anyone could. The sea battles, especially the climax scene, were probably not very convincing even at the time, but the actors make it work, especially the excellent De Wilde as Lt. Torrey. The PT boats were likely included because President Kennedy & 'McHale's Navy' made them popular, but there's no denying that they're a welcome, gripping diversion whenever the viewer starts to lose track of the bathtub toys. Anyone looking for a history lesson with his entertainment would do better to watch 'Tora' since 'In Harm's Way' is VERY loosely based on events. But the film is a fine homage to the Navy & Marines of the early Pacific War, both reverent & believable in its characterizations, devoid of the in-your-face patriotism that marred so many later war movies, letting the viewer see for himself the humanity & heroism the story seeks to tell.