SolarisTron

I guess that I'm just too stupid. Everyone seems to be praising this film with 8-to-10-star reviews, hailing the script, the direction and especially the extremely clear narrative which takes the viewer, step by step to the final obvious conclusion of an "ah-ha" gestalt, "so that's what happened," moment. The moviegoers are pleased. They are happy that they spent 25 dollars apiece and cannot but help to anticipate a long, thorough discussion about the character development over coffee. The discussion seems to move evenly with every subplot understood precisely. However, I encourage everyone to do an internet search explaining this movie. It is amazing how IMBD, Wikipedia and a host of other sites all have very different ideas of what happened, why and when, to whom and how. The writers of these sites are filled with infantilizing glee as they explain, and perhaps this speaks to the impossibility of everyone involved in this film to transfer a book to a movie. I haven't read the book. Maybe it can explain all of this to me. Meanwhile, I'm just too stupid.

I am not hateful. Not much makes me angry. But season three of True Detective made my blood boil. The first season was exceptional while the second one has the award of being the worst TV show ever created. Ever. It's really that bad. Rarely is a good show relegated to such black/white dichotomies. I thought that they might try to redeem themselves with season three, but nothing could be further from the truth. How? How can such a good premise (death of a bunch of scientists at the end of Alaska) with these excellent actors go so insipidly wrong? I promise you, it's that pathetic. Man, Jodie, you knew it, come on.

Where is Gerard? I want Gerard. I miss Gerard! I miss him like a safe girlfriend swept up into a leather jacket on homecoming. I need Gerard! Where is he? He was there when he protected the president. He was there when like an older brother when I needed him. He is not there in this movie. He is like Bruce Willis who was there in "Die Hard," and who was there like Thomas Jane was in, "Deep Blue Sea." Liam Neeson in, "Taken," is the godfather of this need that I have. Everyone else is a pale comparison. Gerard fits the bill. In, "Law Abiding Citizen," there he was. Gerard. In, "White House," and "Olympus" (et. Al.), there he was, strong, impetuous, our bold unrelenting hero. There he was again. Gerard. I could only crawl into his armpit. But now he is spiraling. Into Nicolas Cage and Bruce Willis, he is spiraling! This movie proves it. All they had to do was copy Kurt Russel's, "Breakdown," and there would not be a problem. But there is a problem. This movie is horrible. I mean the worst of the Nicolas Cage movies horrible (think, "Outcast"). It didn't have to be this way, Gerard.