siektwo

I don't even know where to start with this one. It's a terrible film on so many levels, rather tedious in its execution, but you somehow don't want to take your eyes off it. This is low-budget cheese for fans of that type of stuff.

I knew I was in for a treat when the opening credits roll through. You basically see a handful or less of male names in the credits, but about 25 women's names. Some of them were along the lines of "Syn Devil". I was starting to think this was actually a porn. As it turns out, I guess a lot of these women actually do porn for their day jobs.

This takes place in the future, where evidently the only humans alive are those who are female, skanky, and have massive breasts. Is this "the future" or is this "heaven"? I'll let you decide.

Anyway, you got a robot psycho who goes on a killing spree. All these women get hacked up in various gory ways. The gore itself is pretty cheesy, but passable for a laugh. On the psycho's tail is a robot detective and his buddy.

A massive robot sword fight takes place, and I"m pretty sure it's the greatest thing I've ever witnessed. You gotta see it to believe it.

I applaud the camera man in this film. I've never seen a movie where there are so many pointless shots of the outside of buildings. I think one building in particular has about 20 shots of it. Seems like every time somebody is talking, the camera MUST show the building they are in, haha.

I don't know what else I can say. If you'd read this far, you'd probably already made up your mind whether or not you'll want to watch this one. Just be prepared for a lot of cheese, a lot of boobs, a lot of retarded-looking robot puppets, an excellent swordfight, and a lot of amateur looking gore.

There is really nothing out there like this one. Check it out!

I'm giving it 2 stars for the SFX.

In a nutshell, this film is horrible. I know there's plenty of fan boys that are up in arms that the critics "don't know a good movie" and whatnot. The reality is that this really isn't a good movie. It would be a gigantic stretch to even call this "film" tolerable.

It's 2.5 hours of explosions, screaming, and running. In between that, you have HORRENDOUS "comic relief" that would only tickle the funny bone of a 10yr old. Plot? Who cares. The point is to see robots fighting each other right? There is no plot, only an ending to set up another sequel. Even a 1-900 # psychic could see that coming.

If you like shaky cameras, horrible dialog, 150 minutes of plot holes, fight scenes where you can't make out who's hitting who, elementary school jokes, no appealing characters, hugely annoying characters, and wasting money...then this is the film for you! There is absolutely no excuse as to why this film is 2 and a half hours. I wouldn't have been so hard on it if it was 90 minutes. It would still be a terrible wretched piece of cinema, but at least it wouldn't have taken up the majority of my Saturday afternoon.

I decided to purchase the film before seeing it. It was a "blind buy". was it worth it? Yes. That's not to say that the film isn't without it's faults however.

The story (like many people have already said) is somewhat confusing. I'm not going to go into the basic plot of the film, because you can look that up yourself...lol. I'll tell you that the plot IS interesting though, if maybe a tad to complex for it's own good.

I'm just going to point out what i liked and didn't like, so that you'll be able to make a decision on whether or not the film would be worth your time.

The effects were OK. This is obviously a low budget flick. That being said, there were only a couple really cheesy effects. Of course, the main gimmick is the whole "heads with spider legs" thing, and that's pulled off pretty well for the most part. I gotta say, they do look pretty creepy and some of them shoot large tongues out their mouths (reminded me of Uzumaki to a certain degree).

The film doesn't really know if it's serious or slapstick. Now by slapstick, i don't mean there's scenes like you'd see in "the naked gun" or movies of that type however. One of the main characters runs around with quirky inventions made of household items. he carries a can of aerosol spray that evidently the goblins don't like. There's a lot of tongue in cheek events and scenes in this one...but there's some good horror elements as well.

in fact, there's actually quite a few scenes that gave me goosebumps. there was also 2 or 3 moments where i actually jumped a little bit. it's just too bad that it seems like the last 3/4's of the film loses the "horror edge" and makes the film seem like a bad Japanese Indiana Jones ripoff in comparison to what we see earlier in the film.

Oh yeah, there's some pretty violent scenes in this as well. so if you aren't a fan of gore and blood...then this might turn you off. however, the violence isn't "shocking" or anything that would upset the squeamish.

The premise is interesting, but i honestly think this would have been a much better flick if it was straight horror...and dropped the goofy comedic tone found in many scenes. Overall though, it's a pretty fun ride...and there's really not much out there that has the feel the film has. I'm a big time horror fan, and it floats my boat and was worth the blind purchase.

RATING: 7/10