please_save_yuri

The plot of this movie is fairly straightforward: 30 years ago a geek was accidentally murdered by some cool frat boys who took their "good old-fashioned geek bashing" a bit too far. The frat boys, being cool and rich, covered up their mistake and life went on as normal.

Now, 30 years later, the sons of the 5 frat boys responsible for the murder are following in the footsteps of their fathers – they're cool, they're frat and they make fun of geeks.

Enter the geekette, who bears some resemblance to the murdered geek – she's awkward, smart, wears glasses, seeks acceptance and is the butt of everyone's joke. After finding a 30-year old class ring – belonging to, guess who? – she begins to change. She sheds her ugly duckling image and becomes the new hot girl on campus (because if movies teach us anything, it's that all geekettes are hot girls just waiting for a cool person – or in this case, a malevolent, revenge-driven spirit – to take them under their wing).

The biggest problem with this movie is that it doesn't seem to know what it wants to be. I was expecting a cheesy B-Horror, but it failed all my cheesy B-Horror expectations. First, it wasn't scary, and didn't even try to be scary. The "murder" scenes consisted of the geek-girl's eyes flashing red as bad things happened to whomever she happened to be looking at. And the bad things? Please. The first death resulted from one of the frat boys failing to lift a barbell and the barbell landing on his neck. Was he decapitated? No. He just choked a little. Which brings me to my next point: no gore. No cheesy special effects. One of the frat boys died due to peanut allergies. No joke.

This movie also had no nudity which, though not essential for a B-Horror, is still appreciated. The closest you'll find are some homo-erotic scenes with the frat boys.

In addition, the logic behind this movie is so flawed I just couldn't get passed it. So you have 5 frat boys who accidentally murder a geek in 1975. Okay, I get it. What I don't get is how these frat boys, coincidentally, all have children 10 years later, and that, also coincidentally, all the children are boys. I mean, do frat boys end up spending the rest of their lives consulting each other as to what they should do? Do they carry a calendar with them that marks off important dates, like, "1981: Get married." "1984, June onwards: Impregnate wife." "1985: Have a baby boy. If girl, then adopt a baby boy." Needless to say, I just don't buy it.

This movie wasn't bad. It just didn't do anything particularly well.

This movie was so bad it almost ventured into the realm of being good. Was it the bad acting? Was it the toys they tried to pass off as tanks, helicopters and vehicles? Was it the horrible dialogue? The unrealistic computer-animated spiders? The amateurish cinematography? Was it the fact that the spiders could talk? Or the nuclear device that was nothing more than a briefcase full of dynamite?

Actually, it was the nuclear device that was nothing more than a briefcase full of dynamite. This is what finally pushed the movie over the edge of bad for me. I'm not exaggerating. Also contained in the briefcase was a mobile phone, a few wires and a computer screen made out of tin foil for that extra sense of 'realism'. (I can't even begin to describe what the interiors of the helicopters and tanks looked like…)

Watching 'Creepies' was like watching a bad high school film production, without the excuse of it being a high school film production. That's not to say I wasn't entertained. I think, in a group, as long as alcohol is involved, or as long as you want something to make fun of, 'Creepies' will delivery a solid hour and twenty minutes of entertainment, though perhaps not in the way the movie intended.

I watched this movie in Japan, in the theater, twice. At $25 a shot. But it was worth every dollar. And this was without understanding much of the dialogue, because I don't speak Japanese. When the DVD was released with English subtitles, I purchased it immediately. And again, it was worth every dollar.

This movie is fantastic. On the surface, it's a movie about sports and competition. Beneath this, it's a movie about heroes and friendship. There's no clear-cut "bad guy". Every character has depth, motive and pain.

In short, the filming is great, the story is fabulous, and the actors are well-cast. Even watching it in Japanese, the acting was good enough to convey the general story without me understanding what was being said.

I love this movie. In fact, whenever I meet someone who hasn't seen it, I make them watch it.