TheKingOfLasVegas

SOMEBODY has to stand up for this wonderful studio, and I'm delighted to accept the assignment. Does no one watch a movie to be ENTERTAINED, with a big goofy grin on their face? If being The Ripoff Kings Of The Cinema is a crime, why was Roger Corman (the former King) handed a career Oscar?? This 89m of trashy dee-light may be a naked ripoff of Cocaine Bear, but that film left me needing MORE of a delicious new "drugged beasties" genre that The Asylum was primed and ready to deliver! You folks who are locked & loaded to give any Asylum film an automatic 2-star rating (without even seeing it, I suspect) have no place in my life. Let the trash cinema congregation say AMEN!!

There are bad directors (the kind that squander a Big budget, deliver a smelly turd, and are never heard from again), and then there are Bad Directors!!! (who can deliver a finished product for a couple thousand which, regardless of quality, will turn a profit, and who have more work waiting for them than they can possibly handle). I'm pretty worshipful of the latter. William Beaudine. Roger Corman. Ed Wood. Doris Wishman. And undisputed King of the current crop of Bad Directors!!!, the Schlockmaster General, Mr. David DeCoteau. Remember that name. not because I expect you to worship Bad Cinema as I do - quite the opposite - because so many of you expect some kinda guarantee of being at least a little bit entertained when you invest 90 minutes of your life in a movie. When you see D.D.C.'s name attached to one, that Ain't Gonna Happen (when you're done reading this, zip thru the pages of 1-star-or-less user reviews for this one if you need further evidence). Some Fun Facts about D.D.C: He's Very Gay (me too, so no judgment is intended), and has frequently worked under female pseudonyms; while he's never made an overtly gay film, his specialty area is in the copious display of the H-O-T male form - mostly in tighty whiteys (type '1313' into the search engine for an impressive list of some but not all of his tighty whitey epics) - I once emailed him, offering to pay him $10/hr to work in his casting office - no response; there is always Someone You've Hear Of in his casts, generally wayyy past their marketability (McCormick and Roberts get the honors in this one),and they're always awful (he once actually got Christopher Plummer to sign on - if I ever hear a good story about that one, I'll share it); and what I said earlier about the low-budget hacks having no shortage of work....it's 2013 now - he's made around 30 movies since 2010!! So remember....Corman received an honorary Oscar. Wood is a major cult figure. So there IS some glory to making BAD movies, just as there's Great Fun to be had watching them. Just so long as you know what you're getting into.