Tubular_Bell

Right from the first few minutes, I knew I was in trouble. This bomb may only be enjoyable if you get a kick out of cheap "artistic" imagery, or if you mistake pretentiousness for originality.

I don't even have anything against the low budget aspect. Low budget has given us excellent results in the past, and it usually has to do with the director having a firm idea of what he wants. This "Ajai" guy definitely hasn't: he alternated from cheap horror flick clichés to surrealistic collages, from gory make-up to Disney-ish superimposed images and corny effects and lighting. This COULD be promising if it went all out surreal on us, but no: this whole poorly written and acted ordeal is just an excuse to deliver a tired, hackneyed "coming-to-terms- with-tragedy" story that brings us nothing interesting or creative. It's silly and pointless, and I just can't fathom how anyone could bother making this film come into fruition. If only it were entertainingly bad as The Room, but no, not even that.

If you're curious, just watch the opening credits and then leave. That is the whole movie.

I don't even need to write spoilers in this review: the title IS the spoiler. Everything that you could expect from a college flick is here, only in lightweight, kid-friendly fashion. Everything that is utterly abominable and predictable about that kind of film is included here, which reveals that the writers are very good at following checklists.

Of course, everything is transplanted into the stupid concept of a monster world generating energy from kids screaming. Maybe I was wrong, but the idea of the first film was to show something fantastic and scary in this world as something boringly institutional in a fantasy world. Creepy as it is (not in the good sense, but in the "child molester" sense), at least there's an inch of creativity in that concept. In this prequel, the employees are turned into superstar heroes. That is, the only thing that's marginally interesting about the original movie is discarded here in the name of an utterly dull and irritating college flick. Honestly, you can't write something like that before killing off a good portion of your brain cells.

Of course there is forced pathos. Of course there's the awkward attempt at creating tension and emotion. After all, Pixar still has to please the sycophants. But make no mistake: if you have the lowest expectations about this movie just looking at the title and the premise, you'll just confirm it if you watch it. Now if you're really anxious because you're such a massive Pixar fan, you'll love it before you even see anything.

But do keep in mind that my opinion is a wee bit biased. After all, when the movie started, I was already trying to go into a self-induced coma because of the atrocious short the preceded the film, "The Blue Umbrella". Hey, did you see that Internet meme about things with faces? Let's rip-off that idea and make an "artistic" little film on that! The sycophants will be on their knees!