eclectic_girl77

That uses the director's mother's basement (I'm guessing), dressed up with sheets and tulle fabric remnants, as the eponymous Torture Dungeon. I'm not quite sure what was more poorly costumed in this "historical epic," the sets or the actors - both looked utterly ridiculous. Then again, they matched the "story" and dialogue: both were muddled and overwrought. This is the third film by Andy Milligan I've had the pleasure (?) of watching, after "Bloodthirsty Butchers" and "The Rats Are Coming! The Werewolves Are Here!" and I can confidently claim that Milligan doesn't get better with each later project. Strangely enough, "Torture Dungeon " may be his most entertaining and I give all the credit to the actor (sadly, I can't find their name) who played Magda, the Royal Marriage Counselor. In combination with her stars-and-moon spangled outfit, her wacky performance (which came across as being completely off-script) and the school yearbook she used as a prop made the five minutes Magda was on screen worth the rest of the movie's runtime.

Basically, this movie is an excuse for lots of nudity (mostly female, but the occasional male) and titillating (yup, pun intended) half-nudity in the form of the lead actress, Susan Cassidy, who's made to run around in clothing either on the verge of falling off or diaphanous and therefore useless at actually being clothing. However, as others have pointed out, any film with the line, "I'm a try-sexual - I'll try anything" requires at least one viewing, if only to make the insanity of the world seem a bit less crazy by comparison.

This wonderful schlockfest from 1980 has all the grace of a three-legged draft horse at a dressage event: bad cinematography, overused slow-mo and fog machine action, choppy editing, and some truly questionable "acting," especially from "oh god, he's chewing up the scenery again - where's his handler?!" Jack Palance. But these flaws are what make "Hawk the Slayer" so much fun.

Basically, "Hawk the Slayer" follows the exploits of Hawk and Voltan, two brothers (who are 30 years apart and begotten from a father who's only 3 years older than Jack Palance) at war with each other. Hawk and his mates - Gort, a giant wielding a mighty hammer; Crow, an elf who's a superb archer; and Baldin, a dwarf skilled with a whip - gather to fight Voltan after the latter kidnaps an abbess and demands gold for her ransom. It's a weak plot, a mere tissue holding together the excuse to fight with swords and bows and arrows. (The whip never got as much action as you'd imagine, sadly.) Most disappointing, the ending was set up for a sequel which never materialized. The film's release in the UK did well, but the US distribution company collapsed, preventing the film's American release, thus nixing any planned sequels. Even the 2015 crowdfunded plans for a "Hawk the Slayer" prequel and possible television show fell through due to insufficient funding.

So while this may not be on the same level as "Willow," "The Princess Bride," or "Legend," "Hawk the Slayer" is still a fun watch, not least because of all the unintentional humor its cheapness creates.