abyoussef

Dane Ramadan Youssef
Birthdate: September 17, 1982
Birthplace: Clarion, Pennsylvania
Nationality: Scottish-Arab
Height: 6'1"
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Hazel Green
Sign: Virgo

Career: Writer, comedian, filmmaker, performer, singer, dancer and artist.

Was an advertising cartoonist for the School Store of the Children's Learning Center of Alameda, Intern for TCI Cablevision of Alameda (now Comcast) Danced with the Alameda School of Dance (as soloist, performed in four ballets and the College of Alameda, performed numerous ballet recitals. Is now working as a freelance writer, performer, artist, cartoonist, spokesman and consultant, etc.


DANE'S LIFE STORY AS ACCORDING TO DANE: Boyish, slender and overly-energenic, Dane Youssef is an odd, "colorful" type. The sort of entertainer that never picks a major. He enjoys versatility. Acting, singing, writing, drawing, filmmaking and others. He is apparently mulit-talented.

Apparently, but that's a simple misconception. Actually, he's just equally mediocre and pedestrian at different endeavors. And he has absolutely no attention span, so he is unable to focus on a single trade.

He is an outwardly spoken autistic--- a victim of Tourette Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorder and Obsessive-Complusive Disorder. That last one, his superiors say, comes in very handy for perfectionism in the field.

A scouting executive for PREACH, Teamwork & Events discovered at the school they both attended during Dude's much younger years. This executive was impressed by his firey energy, Chaplin-like mannerisms and ability to make people laugh and really talk.

Unfortunetly, unlike everyone else, the exectuive was heavily put-off by Dane's raw open sewer mouth and third-grade sense of humor and so PREACH, TWAE wisely decided to seek recruits elsewhere.

The school requested Dane to direct a Christmas play one year because nobody else wanted the job. He wound up doing the writing himself with the head teacher of his classroom. A play directly for the school which would be aired on Cable Access. It wasn't well-written or well-directed. But, like a lot of things that were weak, boring, dull and idiotic, it still managed to get on TV.

Dane had his first taste of "publication" and wanted more.

But if you believe Darwin's theory, eventually Dane evolved and his lack of taste matured (Somewhat, I guess, but you'd have the ask the poor people trapped in the organization who are forced to work with him. Poor pathetic b*****ds). They met up at a mall years later and wound up discussing recruiting Youssef into the illustrious ranks of .

Well, here's proof of God, folks.

Dane himself says "is all about basically talents--performing talents--of all shapes and sizes coming together to create something special. Stand-up, singing, music, dance--anything that works onstage, That's what PREACH is all about. Finding fresh raw talent right off the streets and bringing it into the public eye and making their dreams to life."

Dane goes on to say, "What we at PREACH are really trying to market and perform is our vision. A dream. One we all share---fresh, off-beat people who march to the beat of their own drummer. Who come together and want to build this future in the entertainment industry. PREACH is about being constantly innovative. Experimenting and building, coming up with new ideas and trying them out.

Not just trying to be new and shocking. Novelty wears off, you know. Shock-'artists' like Tom Green and others do stuff that's just gross and provokative... and that's interesting for a few moments. It's like a car crash, morbid fascination. But it wears off. After a while you eventually realize, what you see is what you get.

And you wants so much more. It's only human nature. To hold onto the penis and s**t jokes is to cease to grow. To cease to evolve. To cease to improve. And we at PREACH are trying to get a little farther away from that.

True art always stands the test of time. We just want to see what we can do. And do it. Someone's got to change the whole world and the effects of history. I'm proud to be a part of all this."

Dane goes on to say a lot more, but we wisely tuned it out. I mean, really, who honestly cares?

Dane did not lend his desire to be a published writer to the little-read Alameda High Newsletter, nor did he lend his "day-player" acting ability to the drama club. "I regret it with every fiber of my being. It would have been just so damn great to be able to do my stuff without being such a damn outlaw. I fought teachers, other kids, authority figures... if I could go back in time and do it right, I would. But I can't. And I kick myself for it."

Being recruited into proves that there's a God. And he was willing to throw Dane a crumb.

Dane's biggest honors from the "hallowed halls" (that's right, that's written in quotation marks) of the school is being voted Junior Prince of Alameda High School, class of 2001. He was also a receipcent of Oustanding Achievement Awards from CLC for "Creativity," "Creative Writing," "Class Leadership" and "Most Likely To Succeed."

Poor, poor pathetic, deluded bastard. No one ever had the heart to tell him they pass those things out to everyone who went to that school with every full tank of gas. Every remedial serial freak who went to that school got one. Even the kid who ate his own scabs before they healed. Poor, poor deluded Dane.

Oh, well. Let the deluded little d**k dream, I mean, what else has he got?

In the summer of 2002, his dear sweet kitty passed away of cancer. Youssef made a movie about the cat's life before he passed away, which was aired several time on cable access television.

His hobbies are his very life, so his life is his hobby. He takes classical and modern ballet, bike-riding, exploring, learning money management. He helps out at home, walking the dog and finding all these ways to make his cat happy and screwing around on the internet.

He also occassionally writes celebrity bios and movie reviews. His birthday is September 17. He's a Virgo.


Guess what that stands for? No one's surprised.