ElJay-W

You are reading this because you are wondering if The Substance is any good. This reviewer is an intelligent, prolific, well-travelled and has a deep palate for mainstream American pop culture "moviegoer" movies. I have enjoyed 1000s of movies of every genre.

The most phenomenal thing about The Substance is that this is the first time I've ever felt pranked by the Oscar crowd. The are so many things wrong with this movie that it is hard not to wonder if I have victim to a social experiment orchestrated by an AI bot - (they got me, btw). Everyone promoting this ridiculous nonsense must not have watched the same Demi Moore movie.

I rented this for $6 right after the Oscars and watched it with two friends. As a true moviegoer, I like gore, body horror, even the occasional over-the-top Hollywood preachy piece (if done right). This is trying to be all three and fails so badly, so epically that by the end, we were not only laughing at how stupid it is, but we were all three layers deep into "how much worse could this get?" After a two-hour+ marathon of truly remarkable B-movie garbage, I was rooting loudly for the main character's demise and praying for this horrible B-movie's credits to roll.

I will give you the warning I wish I had before I watched this: don't. Just don't. You will never get that time back.

Wow. Holy sleeper hit! I didn't expect to like this as much as I do. They put real love and quality into Skeleton Crew! So much so that after trying out ep1 I binge-watched seven episodes in one weekend. Now I'm watchlisting the series and looking forward to the next episode!

I grew up with SW and go way back to the OG trilogy but haven't been a superfan since the storytelling went down (looking at you, Phantom Menace). This show is exactly what the Star Wars live-action universe needs: a good, totally separate story with all-new characters - same universe but no callbacks or cameos.

They did a great job blending practical and modern VFX, real stunts, a realish-world approach to world-building and space exploration and they are correcting (or avoiding) a lot of the basic stupidities that have plagued the SW universe.

The acting is surprisingly excellent, full stop. Those kids are amazing and the director is crushing it. I love how the moralities are realistically nuanced and the decision-making is situational. So refreshing when the kids call BS on certain SW Universe things that just don't make sense.

Bottom line: it's great, check it out.