guru-12

I weep for the cast of Family Matters, who have besmirched their lives by taking part in this horrible drivel. I weep for the writers, who, should they be shameless enough, to include this show on their resume, will ruin their careers forever. I weep for the English language, which, God willing, will someday recover from the wretched blemish of the word "Urkel." I weep for the countless children who watched this show and laughed; it's a human tragedy. Above all, I weep for God. Having seen Family Matters, I know that He does not exist.

This is, as you have read a number of times already in these user comments, the best Elvis movie. It is Elvis' best acting performance, and a great story, mindful of "Rebel without a Cause" in some points. Moreover, it is beautifully photographed and directed by the great Mr. Curtiz. And the songs! "King Creole," "Hard Headed Woman," and, my favorite, "Crawfish," which is one of Elvis' best vocals. What else is there?

There is nothing else that can be said about this movie. Weird. The scary part is that Zappa wasn't on drugs when he made this movie...he wasn't on drugs ever. But still...my God. Highlights include the ingenue lead beating drummer Aynsley Dunbar with a toilet brush (at his request) in the grocery store, and Don Preston turning into a monster (which essentially translates into "making a strange face.") And really, was full frontal nudity of this man really necessary? One scene in the movie has Zappa gathering cast and crew together to deliver some bad news: "the movie's got a plot." You'd never be able to tell this from watching it. Other than a conglomeration of truly weird sexual activities, that is. If you go buy the album, you will find that nearly all of the film's dialogue is on the disc: it won't make any more sense, whether you hear the disc or watch the film. Promise.