GrammarCub

Right ... so this movie shows up on cable (on IFC, no less -- supposedly this final bastion of great, undiscovered films) and I decide to watch it -- remembering something vague about Madonna and Kim Basinger both saying "no" to the title role. And what do I get? Soft-core porn and sordid fantasies not even the Marquis de Sade could have envisioned. Not only that, but one of the most cliched and lame endings in all of movie history.

If you want my recommendation for films that cover similar subject matters in a much better way, try "Misery," "The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover," or even "Basic Instinct." There we have films about being at the captive mercy of a misguided suitor, abusive relationships that end horribly wrong, and the all-important Sex As Power. (Those of you who sat all the way through "Boxing Helena" may also wish to see "Existenz," another independent film that handles dream sequences much more artfully.) Which reminds me, can anyone tell me how watching a man having intercourse with a prostitute will suddenly make him desirable, even if you have been throwing glassware at him for the past 90 minutes?

I suppose this unpleasant little picture might play well for people who have never seen movies, been in a hospital, had sex, or used a telephone before. But for those of us who were not raised by pigeons in an underground cave, beware.

Do you like showtunes? Better yet, do you like women singing showtunes? Or, even better yet, do you like DIVAS singing showtunes? This televised concert manages to string together a fantastic cast of fantastic women singing fantastic songs. While the "Lloyd Webber Love Trio" is trite and could have been left out, there is a plethora of excellent material here, much of it under-performed. Highlights include Karen Ziemba's "I Wanna Be a Rockette," complete with the Radio City Music Hall Rockettes right behind her, Audra McDonald's hilarious turn with "Down With Love," and Liza Minnelli singing the [expletive deleted] out of "Some People."

I can see that some of you are still shaking your heads -- but this show has not one, not two, but three "must-see" performances that absolutely stopped the show cold. The first is Linda Eder ("Jekyll and Hyde") brilliantly singing "Man of La Mancha." The second appears shortly thereafter -- Jennifer Holliday's heartbreaking ballad "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." But the third, the concert's last solo, is Elaine Stritch singing Stephen Sondheim's witty (and bitchy!) diatribe against "The Ladies Who Lunch." This great actress, singing this great song, is alone worth the purchase price of this concert.

I'm still in shock after seeing "Eyes Wide Shut," a haunting masterpiece of a film written, directed, and produced by one of film's great artists, Stanley Kubrick. Kubrick died just five days after showing his film, suggested by Arthur Schnitzler's novel "Traumnovelle," to Warner Bros. Thankfully, the studio has left most of Kubrick's vision intact, reportedly interfering with but a single scene. "Eyes Wide Shut" is sexy, emotional, thrilling, and sickening - and brilliant. During the filming, which took over a year, the cast and crew were sworn to secrecy. Speculation and rumors ran wild about the husband-and-wife team of Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman: would there be a steamy sex scene? Or, even more intriguing: would we see Tom naked? All anyone really knew was that this was a sexy thriller, a la "Basic Instinct." An early rumor I heard was that Kubrick decided to shoot a porno movie using well-known actors and a good script. Well, forget anything you may have heard before - you're in for a shock.

Put simply, "Eyes Wide Shut" is not really about sex. Not that it isn't erotic - nearly every scene is alive with sexual energy - but there's a bigger game at stake than just the one played horizontally. This is a film about power, and the loss of power that comes with sexual situations. Tom Cruise, who plays Dr. Bill Harford, is disturbed when his wife Alice (played beautifully by Nicole Kidman) confesses having sexual thoughts about another man. Perhaps part revenge, part curiosity, he sets out on an odyssey to be unfaithful - but somehow, never succeeds. One is reminded of those characters in Greek mythology who were given the impossible tasks in Hades; one had to fill up a bucket with no bottom, and one had to constantly push a rock uphill that would always roll back down to the bottom. Dr. Harford is a man without power who nevertheless requires it - in most situations, his credentials give him power, but he discovers there are certain people he cannot impress simply by flashing his board card.

One of these people is his wife - time and again, she takes the upper hand in their relationship. As Bill stumbles haplessly about New York, visions of Alice's infidelity flash through his mind. Much of his odyssey seems to stem from a "This'll show her!" mindset rather than the cool, rational façade he wants us to see. In fact, nearly all of Bill's actions seem impulsive - from his decision to visit a whore's bedroom to his chance meeting with an old friend at a piano bar to the drive to the infamous manor house where the film's climax occurs. Dr. Harford is unable to exude power here, in the company of an exclusive group of lechers and courtesans. He is seen instantly as an imposter, and the message is clear: Only the powerful need remain.

The specifics of the plot are not nearly as important as the film's ultimate message. Suffice to say, there is intrigue, murder, sex, drugs, and suspicion enough to keep even the most jaded moviegoer interested and guessing until the final scene. And, in keeping with the rest of the film, Cruise's character is not allowed to emerge victorious in the final reel - it is Alice who ultimately shows her strength and power, not Bill. "Eyes Wide Shut," as its title may imply, is full of ironies both large and small: the main character is an anti-hero, his every success doomed from the opening credits; a hooker has sociology textbooks on view in her apartment; a junkie and whore sacrifices herself to save another. What makes this movie so intriguing is that every scene, every moment captured on film, is so carefully constructed that we get the feeling we are standing just behind Bill, observing his tragic fall and even being drawn down with him.

"Eyes Wide Shut" is an outstanding film, one that will be surely recognized by the Academy Awards. I would be very surprised indeed if Kubrick were not nominated posthumously for Best Director. In addition, it is rare indeed for a major studio release starring big-name stars to be an art film - and "Eyes Wide Shut" is a work of art. Every light, every mask, every character - all come together in a stunning array of beauty, shock, and wisdom that makes me realize what a tragic loss Mr. Kubrick's death was. I've often said that Stanley Kubrick never made a bad film, and "Eyes Wide Shut" is no exception. Disturbing, haunting, and shocking, it is also a beautiful, emotional, and masterful requiem by one of the great masters.