O Pátio das Cantigas

Possibly one of the worst movies I have ever watched. The dialogue is superficial, the characters are as thin as paper and it contains three absolutely useless sex scenes who have no part in the plot.

Calling this a "remake" is a a straight-up lie. It's an insult to anyone who has worked in the original movie.

Avoid it like the plague.

This movie was a huge disappointment. It had everything to be good, but it turned out bad, really, really bad. There may be spoilers ahead, although no specific movie scene is referred. On the original the Narciso character is the main character, and here it is like a supporting role. Cesar Mourao, who should be the lead and carry out the movie, turned out doing a poor job, mostly by director choice, and not his performance as an actor. To someone who has never seen the original movie, it was not made clear that Narciso is the main character. Miguel Guilherme is a wonderful actor who spent the whole movie doing a bad and forced accent. It turns out not funny at all. I've always loved his work on TV, but his Evaristo is annoying as hell, and not in a good way. Then the humor: with Rui Unas, Aldo Lima, Manuel Marques, and José Pedro Vasconcelos this could have smarter and funnier humour, but it turned out to be "Malucos do Riso" and "Batanetes" humour. Maybe I am not the target, as being a 31 male that usually goes to the movies. Maybe this is a movie for kids or a really old citizen that remembers seeing the 1942 original in the movies. There are xenophobic jokes, which had a potential to be funny and bold, but are overall just bad taste. And what to say about the stupid ending? Everything was rushed and then from the sudden, it pops out with all the silliness and no clear conclusion. The director and writers had no idea how to end, or it could probably be for editing purposes, as the movie's length could be becoming an issue.

Overall, this was a big box office success, but mostly because of all the investment in advertising it had. It could be a great success selling tickets and be a good movie like for example "A Gaiola Dourada" managed to be. But in conclusion it didn't deserve to wear the "o Pátio das Cantigas" title as it is shameful inspired movie (please do not call it a remake) from the 1942 classic.

First of all let me clarify one thing: I am not a big fan of the original film or of the whole genre. That being said, there is something seriously wrong when something made on a low budget in a poor country in 1942 under an authoritarian regime (which had a strong Censorship Board - that was not an issue for films like the 1942 original as most of the people involved were strong supporters of said regime) still manages to amuse and entertain here and there while the 2015 loosely based remake has descended to the lowest for of humor and looks like a soap opera, mostly because all those involved in making it have know experience of making movies or if one or two do they show a complete disregard to the medium.Not all films appealing to the masses are this crass. Most do treat the audience as a bunch of teenagers which is tells us more about society in general than about any specific studio, producer or actor. This "film" is on a different scale of disaster. It's not funny, it's offensively unfunny. I might add racist and misogynist and homophobic but those "isms" are there as background social context so that Lisbon (and Portugal in general) appears to have been stuck in the first half of the last century only with product- placement and gadgetry. I have not seen anything quite so dumb in my life so the announcement that as soon as this runs its course big screen-wise it'll be shown as a TV miniseries is no surprise but even for TV this simply too bad. I have no doubt many people will like it. Much as many.. well, some people like Vietnamese soap operas and Nazi-era German musicals (both of which have better production values and at least some kind of plot - they also, like the 1942 original of this have some ideological agenda subtle or blunt, the only agenda I see here is.. none). I'd give this 2 if I had fond memories of the 1942 film. I don't.

This film was an attempt to remake a classic of Portuguese cinema, from the Forties. It came at a time when it was fashionable, in Portugal, to remake old films.

Since comparisons are inevitable, this film loses in all of them. Not only was he not able to have a joke, but he destroyed the story told by the original film, where the lives of several residents of a Lisbon neighborhood intertwine and relate. Here, the script is simply a cross between romances and flirtations, more suited to a cheap soap opera. Under the cover of a remake, Leonel Vieira ended up making a new film, taking advantage of the original film elements such as the location, the names of the characters and some iconic scenes, caricaturally imitated. For example, the famous scene where Vasco, drunk, talks to the street lamp, or the other where he provokes the anger of Evaristo, who shoots him with a lot of articles from his shop. Those scenes, poured into this film, lost the fun and look ridiculous.

Another problem in this film was the affected and artificial performance of almost the entire cast. The actresses seem to have been chosen based on the size of their bra and the actors were recruited in the cheapest comedies and soap operas on national TV. Some characters, the ones that should be the most comical, like Evaristo or Narciso, were reduced to mere caricatures of themselves. This was truly a mistake, as they were the most beloved characters for the public. In the original, they were played by Vasco Santana and António Silva, two of the most talented comedians in national cinema, at a time when making comedy in Portuguese cinema was not the same thing as making a clown figure. I don't even mention the unfortunate sex scene involving the actress Bruna Quintas, at a certain point in the film. In addition to being totally out of context in a family movie, it attests to the ability of the Portuguese to involve sex where it was needless just to sell something.

Unfortunately, this film was a success. I still don't understand, however, the need for this "remake". The original film has aged very well, has a large legion of admirers and is regularly shown on TV, which is saying something for a 70-year-old film. This is an absurd, unnecessary film and its objective was only to obtain money from the public.

Disclaimer: I just watched the TV version. Sometimes movies are edited so they can be presented in a bigger or smaller TV slot. But this is not an excuse to all the bad things the movie presents and I'm sure 90% of what you are about to read sticks to the cinema version.

1 - To call this a remake of the great 1940's (42 I believe) original is deceiving. The only thing that was maintained was the location (typical old Lisbon) and the names of some characters. The rest was just advertising to make people go see the movie (and it worked).

2 – The script is awful. It is really poorly written and always sounds mechanic and false. Most of the situations are unnatural. You get that "there's so much going wrong here" kind of feeling.

3 – The editing seems to have been done by someone that does not know what should be done or simply did not knew the movie/script. I got the same feeling described in the last point.

4 – It's impossible to understand if there are good actors in this movie. The girls where chosen because they are beautiful and the men are just a bunch of average comedians in real life. I cannot blame them in particular since the zero character depth might be due to character direction.

5 – There are some absolutely ridiculous/absurd dialogues. Again, all over the movie.

6 – The film is supposed to be a comedy. I saw ZERO funny jokes or dialogues.

7 – Its a film that targets old people and families (including children). On this context, it has some gratuitous and totally out of the context sex scenes. I'm not a puritan, but this is definitely not the movie for them.

8 – I will not give a score of 1 because there was a lot of money involved and we can see that. Also, for the surprising Bollywood finale. It was the only interesting part of the movie.

It's sad that in a country where money for movie production is scarce this ended up as the Portuguese blockbuster of the year, pulverizing every other possible good productions. And due to its success, I'm sure we will see some similar things over the next years...