Crystal Skulls

Silly nonsense about 13 Crystal Skulls that date back before Man (obviously of ET origin) and how some billionaire's obsession with them could lead to the destruction of Earth. Or something. Bulgarian/Canadian made for TV movie, it was never going to be great, cheap effects, laughable dialogue and some bad acting, these movies are two a penny, though to be fair I have seen far worse. Sam Redford plays a tough guy who is tough to watch. I love skulls, I have them decorated around my house and garden (not real ones!), plus a few tattoos, as a time filler this is just about passable.

Well what can I say about this made for TV movie? The acting was not bad, although some of the support actors would have had trouble getting into am-dram productions. the story line was the same old 'quest' story, searching for that elusive artifact. One good point was a baddie that actually admits his mistake and works with the Indiana Jones type hero to save the world. However;... . . In my opinion there should be an international law (UN help please) that anyone other than script writers with a physics degree, should be banned from writing sci-fi scripts/teleplays. The worst thing about this movie was the total disregard for science. the continuity in the film is totally missing. In the first part of the film a cave collapses, seemingly covering the floor of the enormous cavern. Later the same cave appears again, but there is no sign of the cave-in and the nice path remains clear of rubble. Nice clean-up Sweden. Then there is the quick rescue when a helicopter crashes in Sweden and a team is sent out from Vienna (that's Austria, at least a thousand miles away) and the rescue team find them and get them back within the hour. That's some helicopter they have. No wonder most Americans don't have a clue about geography.

Well, a low-budget movie with big-budget aspirations. That often goes wrong and unfortunately it is also thecase for Crystal Skulls. The TV channel had scheduled this film as Horror / SciFi. It certainly isn't. The film is never scary (or even thrilling) and the greatest ambition is to be a kind of modern Indiana Jones adventure movie.

Good news: some beautiful filming locations, neat costumes, realistic gunfights and actors who are funny at times.

The bad news? All the rest...

There is much wrong with 'the scientific facts' this film presents to the audience. Anyone who watches the documentaries on NGC, even if it's just on occasion, gets a few of the errors out. Two examples: Pyramids in Bosnia? Hoax! The engine of the helicopter that fails? You won't survive that.

Logic? This movie rattles on every level! For example geographic locations and distances. The film lets the characters fly around the world, on routes that are often not the shortest, with stops that make no sense. Or how about politics? American soldiers stationed in Spain who just take control of a private company in Austria. I hope you don't have to have a master's degree in international law to realize that this would result in a diplomatic crisis.

My final thoughts? Would it not have been better to tune down a few violent scenes, send the main character out together with his younger nephew on adventure and then show the whole as an adventure series for the youth, after the children's programs? Big kids and young adolescents will forgive Crystal Skulls for the flaws in the plot and appreciate its strengths (the locations, the adventure) more. A bit of a missed opportunity.

This will will always be compared to the Indiana Jones film and come off inferior. Even though there is one more skull and the effect of them together is different. If it was a kids film it could only just pass because the storyline is simple to understand, the inconsistencies however are troublesome. And the pace is slow. It does not have the adventurousness necessary. The actors are good enough let down by poor story and too many 'pregnant" pauses which do not add any drama except to the annoyance of the viewer. Even kids are more discerning in how they believe people would behave in the situations presented.

Most of the other reviews have covered its bad story, terrible FX, and incredible stupidity when it comes to basic science. The whole premise of the film is based on a long ago debunked lie that unfortunately Spielberg and Lucas fell for and peddled in their ignorance.

No, Mayas never made crystal skulls. No, neither did any other ancient or modern people except con artists. They were made in the 1890s to con the gullible.

All the stories claiming what the skulls were and what they can supposedly can do, ETs and so on, were invented to cheat people, the kind dumb enough to believe Ancient Aliens.