Beach Massacre at Kill Devil Hills

No pun intended - if you'd ask me where the movie is supposed to be playing, I couldn't really tell you. Though to be fair, the Beach Massacre title is quite catchy to say the least. Apart from the massacre part, there is also a nudity part. Not too much, but some either have issues with that or are looking forward to it .. so for your information if you will.

There is also one actress who has so much botox in here face, that trying to figure out what she is currently feeling ... well is quite the impossible task. No pun intended of course and no offense (?). All kidding aside, the movie has some finer moments, but the acting in it isn't it ... at least not for the most part(s) ... I don't even know where those puns come from. Which is also true about two strangers ... but you know what they say? You don't? Me neither ... maybe they say, do not watch this? On the other hand, there have been worse movies out there, so there is that.

I don't do many reviews, but I was compelled on this one as I can't believe this movie. I gave it 2 stars because they finished a movie so that right there gives it a extra star. I am still trying to figure out what this was I just tried to watch. There is no massacre. There is nothing but bad editing and really bad dialogue. Diana Prince naked couldn't even save it as they couldn't even make the cut of her topless seamless. I have never seen so many jump cuts. I think the camera they used is the same one they used as a prop in the movie. You can try to watch this, but there is nothing remotely redeemable in this movie. Again the script is bad. There is actually a edit where the girls are talking but there is music over them. So again there is good bad, but this is just bad bad.

Take out all the "artistic" beach shots and the movie would be a much, much, much shorter incoherent mess of bad acting and uncomfortable hot tub scenes..

Then take those cut "artistic" beach shots and put together a live wallpaper for your laptop, and you will have made something decent and worthwhile.

This movie sucked. I guess the makers of this filmed only spent a couple hundred dollars to film this movie. I don't suggest anyone wasting there $1. 50 to rent this movie. It doesn't even end right. What idiot came up with this idea for a movie. Maybe if the makers would have thought it through a little better then this, it might have had a chance to score a rating of 3.

Simple story. A single mother heads to her parents beach house when her ex husband gets out of jail for assaulting her and their daughter. She brings along a few friends and when she gets there, she finds her sister is filming a short film with a couple of people as well. Meanwhile her ex and his uncle are looking for revenge and killing anyone who gets in their way. This could have been a great thriller. It has a lot of talented people involved and they do good work. The main problem with this movie is its so imcompentently made that you cant help but laugh. Lets begin with the sound. There are scenes where there are people having a conversation and they simply play music over it. There's another scene where the mother and father are in the same room talking and the sound is completely different. Its like the mother was re- recorded (badly) in another location and it was dubbed in. The second problem is the editing. Scenes begin and end with no transition. There's a scene with three girls in a hot tub talking about nothing and there are maybe five jump-cuts. The movie is simply pieced together badly. Third, the ages of the girls varies wildly. The lead is 38 (irl) and shes playing as a girl in the mid to late 20s. Taya Parker does an OK job but shes bland and her inexperience shows. One of the worst is Deborah Funes who plays Charliee. Funes has a VERY thick accent and its difficult to understand her lines in the movie. We are also supposed to believe shes a model. (NO NO NO NO) There are others, but the rest of the cast does a good job for the most part. This could have been a lot better, but it does look great and everyone puts effort into it. A shout out to Diana Prince and Elissa Dowling who are great in the movie.

(PS) The director has the balls to plug one of his upcoming films in the movie. Im serious. The girls are sitting on a couch looking at dvds and they start talking about how great "The Mangled" is. Funny thing, the director has an upcoming movie called The Mangled and it has the same plot.....shameless. I don't know if I should be impressed or embarrassed.