Kids vs Monsters

Watching a film like Kids Vs. Monsters you wonder just how far some careers have sunk. And as for Francesca Eastwood who is the young female lead, couldn't her dad have snagged something better?

Six grossly rich people who are definitely part of the two percent running things all have one thing in common, they hate their kids and for the most part the kids are definitely wastes of protoplasm. So who could pass up an offer from someone from the underworld makes to dispose of them.

The idea is to watch on closed circuit television to see if their kids could spend a night in a haunted house with 7 monsters. 6 kids, 7 monsters; let's see who's standing in the end?

This film has one saving grace. Malcolm McDowell plays old Scratch himself and knowing this is a turkey he gobbles with gusto. You will rarely see such a hammy performance from someone, but it was definitely called for in this case.

You'd better be a fan of someone in the cast.

The movie begins with a news report by Elaine Hendrix and Keith David that talk about 6 children that will be sent to a strange house by their parents since they think that their sons have special abilities but they are also a burden for them. In the house they'll face seven monsters (each with their own special way of scaring) and the kids will do everything to beat them using their abilities.

I wasn't that excited to watch this movie. After all it has a pathetic score of 3,2 and only one review so it's also incredibly obscure. But last month I decided to watch various movies with Keith David so I bit the bullet and I saw KIDS VS MONSTERS. In the end I even thought that its score of 3,2 is very generous, as the film is even worse!

So what I disliked about the film? First, the entire premise looked incredibly dumb and it makes wonder who thought the movie would have worked in the first place! Think about it... a comedy where the leads are some lazy and self-absorbed kids who have to battle monsters with only their knowledges as defense! This is also very insulting towards adult spectators who know how real horrors can scare its viewers. Second, it has such a great cast (Malcolm McDowell as the Devil, the always good Lance Henriksen as his henchman and Keith David in a pointless cameo at the beginning) and yet it's so incredibly wasted that it makes you wonder how they got there in the first place! And it's hard to believe that Francesca Eastwood (one of Clint's youngest daughters) did this as her first movie as an adult... she should have known better coming from such a respected family of the cinema industry! Third, despite this movie is billed as a comedy, it has only like, 2 laughs in a movie of nearly 2 hours, and most of the ''jokes'' were also gross. Fourth and final, the movie looked like one of those dustbin direct-to-video films with sloppish cinematography especially in the outdoor scenes.

Overall, a movie that never should have been made in the first place as it's embarassing for both the viewers and its stars. Even if you are a bad movie fan, you can pick a better movie than this one!

Absolutely crazy movie, McDowell aside, the acting is terrible, the makeup is terrible, the set design is terrible, the writing is terrible and the plot is terrible. Yet it has a charm I can't quite describe. You'd need to see this movie to really understand.