Alien: Rubicon

I had been looking forward to watching this movie, but am now kicking myself for watching it!!! This movie so reminded me of the early SciFi channel's movies. It is that BAD!!! The title makes one think of the "Alien" franchise, but it is NOT about that. I am a Science Fiction buff, but I will NEVER watch another movie like this!!! Totally unworthy of Science Fiction!!! A decent cast, but an excruciating script and ABSOLUTELY POOR script, plus the misleading title, reels in viewers, to an ABSOLUTELY WASTE OF TIME!!! If you want to watch it after reading this review (my first) , be my guest, but I can guarantee you that you will be disappointed!!! If I could have rated it 0, I would have.

That headline-question is always the last silly line of defense for an otherwise indefensible piece of garbage.

But in this case, the truth is: YES! Easily!

I bet every third person on earth could do better than this. There is no tension, no build up, no basic understanding of storytelling mechanisms at all. It is just 2,5 boring sets where the same five boring characters have stiff, unorganic dialog about a crisis that never feels like anything, because this is the reverse of "show, don't tell!" - all this movie does is tell, and poorly so. It's not even funny bad, not campy in an amusing way. It is just poor. If you want to look at something extremely poor and low effort for 90 minutes this is THE movie for you. Everyone else, stay clear! There is absolutely no entertainment to be had here.

I've enjoyed some of The Asylum's movies and have to admit their special effects have gotten better. Many times their movies fall into the so bad and ridiculous they are great category, but unfortunately this is not one of them. For all it's OK effects, 99% of this movie is just actors standing around in a room talking about the action. If you've seen the trailer you have seen the entire minute of good stuff in this fiasco. As usual there is some LOL absurd dialogue but not enough to make this enjoyable. While watching this and being bored by it I did wonder what these actors do when they get a call telling them they got the part in a movie from The Asylum ? Cry ? Laugh and curse fate ? Wonder how they're going to spend the $45 paycheck ? Not worth watching.

I will usually give a movie 20-30 minutes and that was a challenge with this one. I started it based on the Glamour Shots preview and if cream rises to the top this sunk quick. The B budget acting didn't have a chance with the cheesy script. I've seen four or five of these actors in other things and they did a lot better given the tools they had in those movies. This one just needed to be cleaned up from every corner because it had a decent story to be based on. In theory this story has been told multiple times but they did have a different twist with Rubicon. Overall it was a huge strike out.

Like another reviewer I thought it was something to do with the Aliens franchise but this movie doesn't even deserve the title of movie, instead it should be called a hodgepodge of how not to act. All the main actors were over doing their roles, especially the man playing the helicopter pilot. Possibly the only actor who played their role correctly was the daughter, she sort of held back her "enthusiasm" and seemed the most normal.

Some of the special effects were good, possibly the only saving grace, though someone needs to learn how to do explosions properly.

All up a waste of money and time.