Bermuda Tentacles

A cheesy, Bermuda-set science fiction film from The Asylum, and shown by the SyFy Channel - an unholy combination of production forces. This one's clearly inspired by/ripping off BATTLESHIP, and like BATTLESHIP, it's a CGI-fuelled mess of a film, about the crew of a warship who are attempting to extract the President from his watery grave after Air Force One crashes into the Bermuda Triangle.

The rubbish writing is the worst thing about this non-starter of a film, that and the repetitive structure of the narrative. It's an entirely clichéd piece full of lame CGI effects of alien tentacles waving about and a few silly scenes of characters exploring an alien ship which seem to be indebted to PROMETHEUS. It's noisy, vapid, and dull. The familiar faces they've roped along for this one include THE TERMINATOR's Linda Hamilton (considerably aged), SCREAM's Jamie Kennedy (unrecognisably bearded), and ALIENS's Ricco Ross (barely in it). Unsurprisingly, it's as boring to watch as your usual Asylum effort.

You'd think that after all the years the Sc-Fi Channel and Asylum have been churning out absolute dross, one day they'd actually get a half decent movie out (law of averages). All it would take is the budget of say, four of their dumb movies, a decent script and FX team, and a few well known faces to star on screen. and they might produce something worth watching. Instead they keep trying to feed us eyeball melting,coma inducing trash like this movie. And believe me.......this is a real stinker!! Lynda Hamilton and John Savage must have been hard up to appear in this one. What WERE they thinking? The extremely thin plot involves the Air Force One being downed in a thunder storm over the Bermuda Triangle. The President escapes in his escape pod only to become stranded at the bottom of the ocean. The ensuing rescue effort wakens an alien see monster who's not very happy and procedes to cause havok among the U.S Naval rescue fleet. Cue special effects of the worst kind and even worse acting and music. It's all very gung-ho and cheesy, and very much NOT in a good way. It doesn't even fall into the catagory of "I't so bad it's funny. If you've watched one Asylum movie then you 'll pretty much know what kind of viewing experience you're going to get, so don't say you haven't been warned. If on the other hand you haven't, trust me. You'll be asking yourself why for the love of all that's holy did you bother.

An Iowa-class battleship defending herself by M-16s and other assorted handheld weapons ... and F/A-18s fighting worms. :)

Okay, Bermuda Tentacles may not be the worst SyFy has done or quite down there, but it is incredibly bad and worse than any of their offerings from last year. It looks cheap, well the photography is okay if rather drab but the editing is choppy and the whole movie just looks both drab and garish. The special effects are truly laughable, and that's at best as well. The monster looks so fake, one of the worst-looking I've seen in a while and poses no real threat or even a personality to speak of. The sound is murky and the music is sluggish and over-bearing, reminiscent of a poorly-scored overblown CGI extravaganza but worse. The story plods like thick, sticky mud and any tension, fun, excitement or horror is practically non-existent here. Mainly because it looks like none of the actors give a damn about what's happening to them and that everything is so ridiculous and lacking in any real sense. The script is a real disaster here, no wonder the dialogue delivery was so awkward often, it's cheesy and incoherent and much of it, especially the more wordy exposition dialogue, sounds like utter gibberish. The characters range from underwritten to annoying, with any conflict between them not believable in any way and coming across as forced instead, while the acting is atrocious. That is particularly true of Mya, whose performance is pretty embarrassing, in fact the younger members of the cast make it all too clear how inexperienced they are. Linda Hamilton looks worse for wear here and also gives a surprisingly lazy performance. The best performance is by John Savage, the only halfway decent one and quite possibly the best thing about Bermuda Tentacles, that he has very little to work with and what he has is poor, I wouldn't go as far to say that he is enough to save the movie. Overall, Bermuda Tentacles is not quite among SyFy's worst but even for a company notorious for mostly bottom-of-the-barrel to mediocre(with a handful of tolerable ones) this was just horrid. 1/10 Bethany Cox

You will be surely disappointed if you go in expecting a serious monster movie. It was definitely intended to be one, but the awful VFX work and the over the top acting make it a hilariocity.

Pretty much every actor in the movie was terrible, yes, even experienced actors like Linda Hamilton. And towards the end if seemed like they were going for some kind of a love interest between the Lieutenant and the guy rescuing the president which fell flat.

Overall a pretty terrible movie that is so bad it's unintentionally good.