The Asian Connection

If you want to see this because like me you saw Seagal on the poster larger than life, I got to tell you, Steven Seagal is not much of a fixture.

Seagal plays the antagonist, a crime lord that has taken over the Cambodian underground. A nobody named Jack robs a bank in order to give his hot girlfriend a fairy tale lifestyle, but discovers some of the money he stole belongs to the crime lord when his henchman comes to get it back, but the henchman has his own agenda when he blackmails Jack to rob banks that he selected. Than the story get complex.

It's a crime drama and a love story, similar to True Romance, filled with guns and crime.

If you've seen True Romance, Seagal's part in Asian Connection is similar too Christopher Walken's part in that, and it's an excellent place for the aging action hero.

Although from the look of the poster, I was expecting more action. Not just from Seagal but in general. Seagal does a few moves but nothing fancy, just enough to justify his pay check, The worse part however, is the spectacular Micheal Jai White makes an appearance in the movie that's nothing more than a glorified cameo, that makes people like me think it's gonna go down, but nothing that epic happens.

Don't let that discourage you from seeing the movie. Once I got over the disappointment of the b-action Star power being used to put this in limited release at my theater, I got an excellent crime filled love story that makes up for it.

The Asian Connection (2016)

1/2 (out of 4)

Jack (John Edward Lee) and his buddy are in Asia where they rob a bank. Jack plans to use the money on his girlfriend (Pim Bubear) who he loves very much. However, what he doesn't know is that he is actually robbing from Asian crime lord Sirankiri (Steven Seagal). Soon Jack is forced into robbing even more banks and now the police are after him as well as Sirankiri.

This is the first Seagal movie I've seen since his 1997 film FIRE DOWN BELOW. I knew that the actor had gone into the direct-to-video craze but I honestly just wasn't big enough of a fan to check out all of these movies. THE Asian CONNECTION grabbed my attention because I read some really negative reviews on it so I decided to check it out myself.

There's no question that the awful reviews were right on the mark because this is a pretty darn bad movie no matter how you look at it. Obviously it was done on a very low-budget but the problem is that it's so poorly made that you just get bored by all of it. The direction by Daniel Zirilli is certainly a major issue because the action scenes all look horrible and there's not a single moment where the film contains any energy or excitement.

Another problem is that you certainly don't care about any of the main characters. The love story subplot between Jack and his girlfriend is laughable at times and even everything with Seagal is pretty bland and boring. John Edward Lee's performance is also quite bad and it appears Seagal is just picking up a paycheck as he does very little with his role.

THE Asian CONNECTION is a really bad movie that doesn't have a thing going for it.

This will be a cult classic purely on how bad it actually is.

Some of the worst acting you'll ever see. John Edward Lee; first off, who the hell is he? I've never seen a stiffer, unnatural and generic actor who thinks overacting will hide the fact he cannot act and has no natural bond with any of the other stiff actors. Pim Bubear is so cliche in her role, her lines and her overall performance, it's not worth talking about.

Seagal was just brilliant. Obese, old, slow and stupid, yet has the respect and fear of all those around him. His fight scenes are a thing of beauty, if you ignore that you never see below his shoulders where a fat, bloated body is hardly moving and cannot keep up with basic choreography. His comedic timing was on point where he was able to knock a professional MMA fighter out with a kick with so little power that it wouldn't score a goal from the goal line, and Seagal's physical inability to lift his leg higher than 1" off the ground. Or there was when Seagal flipped a table over in anger using so little power, you could clearly see if was inflated... but that's the joke, right?

If neither of those make you laugh, then the tacky one-liners after an action scene will give you stomach muscles a good workout. "Guess playing all those video games paid off?" "The fish is the most sentient of animals" Or the random droppings of F bombs by Seagal when there was no other swearing in the movie.

I guarentee this will be a cult classic in years to come due to the cliche plot, bad acting and all-round Steven Seagal presence turning an intended action movie into a cult comedy classic.

First of all, I turned the film off. I simply could not watch the entire fiasco. The acting was so amateurish that it was laughable. How old was Jack's girlfriend? All of seventeen? Where do they find the actors for these disasters? But to make matters worse, the three minute segments with Steven Seagal who is way too old and out of shape to be in all these action films he so call stars in. I watch these films to see just how much worse they can get. This one certainly met my expectations.

Steven Seagal has done some good, or at least watchable, films. Particularly 'Under Siege'. He has also done a lot of mediocre and less films, indicative of laziness and that Seagal was well past his sell by date, and a good deal of them are even very bad.

'The Asian Connection' for me is down there with Seagal's worst. Did not expect much, but watched it because Seagal has shown signs that he can be halfway decent and as said not all his films are bad. Also do appreciate the action genre and there are good films out there in the genre, classics even. 'The Asian Connection' is far from that, more closer to a waste of time that shows little signs of trying.

Seagal, in a role smaller than the advertising lets on, himself gives another lazy and wooden performance that shows that he was not interested and wanted to be somewhere else. His reading-from-an-autocue-like and robotic line delivery in particular betrays that. The rest of the cast are just as poor though in all fairness have little to work with and over-compensate.

The characters are ones we know very little about and don't care what happens to happen, so unengaging and one-dimensional they are. The dialogue is risible, with a lot of cheesiness, awkwardness and far too much talk delivered with little emotion or momentum and bordering on the near-incomprehensible.

Its excessively talky nature affects severely the pacing, which never comes to life. There is no urgency, let alone tension, intrigue or suspense. The action doesn't feature enough in comparison and suffer from pedestrian choreography and laughably bad editing. The story is by-the-numbers, dull and not always easy to follow.

Direction is flat and ill-at ease, while the sound/soundtrack are one-note and obvious as well as poorly recorded and the whole film looks cheap. And it's not just the editing, the slapdash effects and drab photography also. The only okay asset here is the backdrop sadly wasted by the rest of the production values being awful.

Overall, a mess. 1/10 Bethany Cox