Ninja Immovable Heart

This movie is so crap even kids cartoon has more substance,it is truly a waste of time watching it,the story line is all over the place bad acting and fight scenes,bad everything,40 minutes in you still don't know the plot or whats going on,you there hoping it will develop into something which never came,the worst experience i had in any film before,i don't think it deserves the right to be called a film, this was a waste of filming and the budget,i guess the actors just take the money and be like whatever,but this not good for reputation either, its a let down on all levels,the only thing good about this movie is image quality but everything else is crap,plain and simple

ALL the other reviews lay it out perfectly...yup, 30 minutes in, and I couldn't tell what was up or down. I was watching while cooking in my kitchen...it was basically for background noise. It NEVER got better.

Having no idea how the score got into the 3 area, I must say that when this film would have been made as a project in a film school, I would fail each and everyone involved. The plot doesn't have just holes, there is no plot! It is rarely a good idea, when the main actor is also the writer and director. It was supposed to fail from the start, and man it DID fail. From casting to acting to cutting and special effects, nothing gets even close to professionalism. Plan 9 from Outer Space was at least involuntarily funny, and is cult today. But our film here is just bad. I am sure that intentions were good, or else Mr Baard would not have made this film, but he is well advised to look for experienced people to realize his projects, if someone is willing to finance it. He needs a writer to get it from the idea to a story, something he did not manage; this made the film boring to watch from start to end. With the basic ingredient lacking, a really good director could have still made a halfway decent film, given enough liberty to stray from the script. But as the director was the writer, no such thing happened. The same good director could have told his lead cast how to play the role with more than just one face, but again the director is the main actor. So that 1 star is only given, as there is no negative vote.

Like what was said in my recent review for 'The Secret Village', this is in no way intended to sound hate-filled or like a reviewer who hates everything review. Quite the contrary. Am actually a fair reviewer with a love of film of all decades, genres and regardless of what the budget is. IMDb's lowest possible ratings are very rarely given out by me, and also have no bias against low-budget films, there are watchable, and even good, ones out there.

'Ninja Immovable Heart' is another example of not being one of those watchable or good low-budget films. Instead another example, and perhaps even an even worse one (if that was humanly possible), of being one of the worst ever examples to me. One of the worst films recently viewed for me and among the worst ever. Again another case of me being serious and genuine, not being malicious. Malice has never been intended in any of my reviews, regardless of how strongly worded some of them are.

It's a cheap looking film visually, especially in the insultingly cheap (even for low budget) special effects and in the action scenes. Regarding the action scenes they are too few, and those that are in the film are very unexcitingly choreographed and chaotically edited.

The script is cheesy, stilted and didn't even feel like one that was properly organised let alone structured. There is nothing tense, suspenseful, fun or urgent about the paper thin, pedestrian and muddled story.

In 'Ninja Immovable Heart' none of the characters are intriguing or relatable, the direction is non-descript and the acting is dire. The use of Danny Glover is one of the worst wastes of any actor in any film.

The least bad thing about 'Ninja Immovable Heart', and the only thing that feels like some degree of effort has been put into it, is the music. Not exactly memorable, but at least it didn't sound cheap or ill-fitting.

Overall, awful. 1/10 Bethany Cox

A bit like a Seinfeld Ninja movie... A Ninja movie about nothing!