- Carrie Pilby: There's a perfectly good reason I don't have any friends. Friends are people. And people are dishonest, ingenuine, and let's face it, not that smart.
- Tara: Nobody likes anybody for who they are. That's why we have to pretend to be better than who we are, and let people find out the truth later, you know, once they've already invested.
- Dr. Petrov: I'd appreciate you not listening in on my sessions.
- Carrie Pilby: I'm sorry. The door was just flat enough for my ear.
- Mr. Pilby: [punches him in the mouth] Borrowing a book and not returning it is the height of rudeness.
- Professor Harrison: You son of a...
- Mr. Pilby: Come along, Carrie.
- Carrie Pilby: It looks good on you.
- Professor Harrison: What?
- Carrie Pilby: Turns your lips red.
- Tara: Come on, smart AND pretty? You must be killing it out there. Do you have a boyfriend?
- Carrie Pilby: Is that really your next question?
- Carrie Pilby: [aggitated] Why should I force myself to go out and meet people who have lowered their moral, ethical, and intellectual standards in order to fit in with other people who have low moral, ethical, and intellectual standards?
- Dr. Petrov: You're such a contrarian.
- Carrie Pilby: No, I'm not.
- Matt: You wanna play it? It might help you relax.
- Carrie Pilby: What makes you think I'm not relaxed?
- Matt: People's shoulders aren't naturally aligned with their earlobes like that.
- Carrie Pilby: [introducing herself to her class] I can tell I'm boring you now. And this is hard, harder than skipping fourth and eighth grade. But not as hard as skipping second grade, because going from pencil to pen - was pretty abrupt.
- Matt: Wow! Where do you learn how to kiss like that?
- Carrie Pilby: Harvard.
- Matt: Damn! I don't think MIT had that course.
- Dr. Petrov: And does reading 17 books in one week seem normal to you?
- Carrie Pilby: No, no, of course it's not normal. I mean, does skipping three grades of school seem normal? Does going to Harvard at the age of 14 seem normal? I'm clearly not normal. I thought we'd established that was the problem!
- Dr. Petrov: I don't know. Contrary to what the degrees on the wall may imply, I don't have all the answers.
- Matt: So, you must've been 18 when you graduated?
- Carrie Pilby: That maths degree came in handy, huh!
- Matt: Well, that was a little thing called subtraction.