Arthur's Whisky

As a Scot from Glasgow, watching Lulu, a Scot from Glasgow, trying to put on a Scottish accent and refer to Glasgow as Glasga was like a punch in the stomach.

The premise seemed funny but the film really didn't hit the mark.

The younger casting really was off too. Patricia Hodge and Diane Keaton are great actresses. Their younger counterparts not so much.

Lulu hasn't done a lot of acting, and it shows, again the accent was really painful.

The script was pretty dire, which is a shame because in the right hands this could have been quite a good little comedy film, however it was just a bit embarrassing.

Arthur's Whisky (2024) is a mess of movie despite the cast. Badly written and directed and with that annoying non-stop Disney pixie music.

Yet another story where three old friends meet at a funeral (apparently older women only meet at funerals, at school reunions, or when they go on road trips) to bury Joan's eccentric husband. Joan (Patricia Hodge) has never been especially happy. There's also Linda (Diane Keaton) and Susan (Lulu) who are also alone. When they decide to clean out the husband's shed (where he invented things) they come upon a bottle of whisky and of course quickly drink it.

The plot starts way to fast. We have no real idea who these women are. So with virtually no backstory, we learn that the whisky turns them into 20-year-olds. Off to the clubs we go. But the transformation only lasts 6 hours.

From there on we get a bunch of disjointed narratives about wasted lives and lost youth and then we end up in Vegas at a Boy George drag show. Nothing flows. Nothing makes much sense. We never know who these women are except at the end when the Hodge character meets up with an old friend (Hayley Mills).

Wasted talent in a film that was never developed.

Super dumb, yet it somehow kinda worked for me.

'Arthur's Whisky' is a very low budget picture, I mean just look at that unintentionally hilarious attempt at portraying a visit to Las Vegas (!!). The plot is very silly and, obviously, nonsensical but in the end I kinda dug it, to be honest. The film does plateau at around the hour mark, though the heartfelt conclusion brought it back to win me over.

I guessed the general vibe (slow paced story of oldies being oldies) of this movie based on the poster and I was mostly correct, though the opening minutes of this made it look like a proper adventure/fantasy was on the way - it evidently wasn't, so quite the jarring beginning!

Diane Keaton, Patricia Hodge and Lulu lead onscreen events and the trio do well enough, as a three they worked better than they did individually. What actually probably helped this for me was the three that played their youngers. Genevieve Gaunt, Esme Lonsdale and Hannah Howland are good. Adil Ray's whole subplot with Lulu/Howland is very cringe, mind you.

Looking around, this has not been received all that positively - though a deeper look around does suggest a more even split of opinion, it does work for some. Just look at that expired tomato website - 80%/14% for critics/audience! Fascinating, really.

I enjoyed this but it didn't flow. It's hard to say why. In parts it felt like a BBC kids tv show - the sort where they have a ripping adventure. Things happened with little preamble and a lot of jaunty music, then we were off to the next thing. The conversations often seemed brief and slightly stilted, as if the actors were simply conveying information. I think that was down to the script rather than the acting. "I hate you, mother. You don't know what it's like to be me." "When you were six, you had meningitis and I would have done anything to change places with you." "Righty-ho, mother. I don't hate you so much now. Cheerio." I'm exaggerating, of course, although it's not too far off the mark. However, the premise was good and there were some genuinely funny moments. I'd sum it up as entertaining but a little awkward.

A movie with a strong Scottish connection turning out to be as bad as this......oh how that pains me. Let's put it this way......you have a scale for whisky related movies stretching from 0 to 100. The "100" spot is occupied by the original Whisky Galore. The "0" spot will now forever be occupied by Arthur's Whisky. Lord only knows what the makers wee aiming for, but if it wasn't a contender for the most vapid and banal movie of the 21st century, then they failed miserably.

A decent payday could be the only reason a small group of fairly accomplished actors would agree to put their names to this tripe. The one upside is that the "elixir of life" subject matter will never extend itself to this movie, and in a month or two, it will have hauled itself off into a corner to die peacefully (hopefully).

My review contains no spoilers, but this movie is almost guaranteed to spoil the day of anyone unfortunate enough to give it 90 minutes of their valuable time.

A truly appalling piece of rubbish.