The Vampire Next Door

Yeah, B Movie Vampire with all the chringe you can't handle.. Not much more to really say about this... Came accross it and thought it might be one of those B movies that is so bad, its acctually good, Sharknado, Sharknado2, Sharknado3, Sharknado4, Sharknado (and however much more they squeeze into that series to death), meg (but not a B movie, but made to look like one), etc... Don't go in with high hopes and see it for what it is, pretty bad acting/directing/script/etc...

Plus, anyone see anything suspissious about the cover??? It looks just like the entire TrueBlood Series on HBO posters. Same thing, the white figure/charector with fangs out and blood dripping down and tongue wipping along their lips.

Ignore the poster art. It promises the kind of sexy horror comedy that proliferated back in the vhs era, but delivers on none of the elements. Pacing? It moves like a sloth with a hernia. Suspense? Outside of teasing whether or not a character might actually fall asleep delivering the leaden dialogue, there is none. Scares? The vamp has a habit of popping in out of nowhere, but that's more irksome than frightening. Interesting spin on traditional vampire lore? There is just nothing here that hasn't been done before and better. The characters have little to do or say of interest, so it's hard to become engaged with their actions or care about consequences. A half hour in, I was wondering whether I would mind if in the next scene the zombie apocalypse arrived and ate everyone? Not really.

Vampires are not a fresh cinematic idea. We have had them since F. W. Murnau. In the same way that a book has to sell itself to the reader in chapter one, a movie has about twenty minutes to answer the question why should the viewer care what happens to the characters. And a vampire movie has a tougher job than most, since it's such a familiar genre. But bland, inert, jokeless, unsuspenseful, and free of all gratuitous exploitation content won't get it done. Avoid.

The special effects budget was about £2.50, most of which was spent on red corn syrup and eyeliner to draw squiggly lines on Victoria's face. Victoria's costumes came from the SHEIN Halloween sale. Cameron was as likeable as Covid on your birthday and at least then you still get presents. Why Diane was vaguely interested in Cameron was the greatest mystery as she was a beautiful woman and he looked like a McDonald's employee. For the entire film the ice cream shop didn't have a single customer to save on the cost of extras. All of this terribleness was why I couldn't stop watching this movie until the end. At one point it seemed like it was going to turn into a porno but alas no as this did seem to be the director's true calling. All the actors gave it their best shots with what little they had to work with. Gold stars to you all and to the director and writer I will leave you with the comment my sister's teacher gave her in a school report "Jessica always likes to contribute in class however the relevance of her contributions are not always apparent".

Flat is the best way i can think of to describe it and the ending was stupid . A six your old would have written a better script it definitely would have been more imaginative and entertaining. It was like they were deliberately trying to make a boring movie by excluding any tension , mystery , humour , or an real excitement. A few little tweaks to the scenes would have been enough and of course the stupid twist , that they tried to explain with an even more pathetic backstoy. The twist just didn't work because , they just didn't it set up right .It felt forced and wasn't really a shock at all . Pathetic. I gave it 3/10 originally but as im writnig i realise thats too genorous,but I can't change the rating . And as beautiful as the female leads are ,the blonde lady was far to old for the role .Still beautiful and young looking but just to old for that role and it showed especially next to the male lead

. It could of been good even great but its not even so bad its good level , pretty sure the writer or director is a fan of Clerks and the Original Buffy the Vampire Slayer movie.

I started watching this and couldn't believe it was filmed in 2024. It felt like a cheap low budget movie from the 80s. The actors are so bland and monotone. Nothing about this film is creative or funny. It's just a bunch of nonsense that a child could have written. The main actor seemed like he was smirking the whole time and being playful. I wouldnt recommend this movie even it was free. One a lighter note the girls are pretty and one of them looks just like Kim Kardashian. It's her replica! Don't waste your time. Don't bother if you're into cool vampire shows. I just wish they would come out with some thing smart and worth watching!