Dancin': It's On!

Yes, it's a TERRIBLE movie, made watchable through the lens of RiffTrax. But it's worth observing that the dancers are fantastic, particularly Chehon Wespi-Tschopp, who has a few moments to shine. The soundtrack, script, acting, sound design, etc., etc., are just awful, but the main actors have some charisma and are exceptional dancers. As a friend observed, it's like having Andrea Bocelli sing a Kidz Bop album.

Oooohhhh a truly terrible movie that I watched to play along with the "How Did This Get Made" podcast. Despite its director being a 50 year veteran of many aspects of the movie industry, but most famously as a choreographer, the film is truly hopeless and I've seen pornography with more convincing acting.

Jennifer (Witney Carson) spends the summer at her father's luxury hotel in Panama City, Florida. The hotel has an odd policy of attracting performers of various disciplines, which appeals to Jennifer as she is a dancer. On her first night she meets Ken (Chehon Wespi-Tschopp), a general dogsbody at the hotel, but who dancing wins admiration. Ken and Jennifer fall in love, much to the disapproval of her father, who prefers preppy Danny (Matt Marr).

Of all the negative points that the film has, the most noticeable is the ADR work. It feels like a foreign film, except it isn't and I'm assuming everyone is ADR'ing their own performance, but there's no life to any of the delivery. Each staccato sentence spoken like the performer was tortured into saying them. To be fair, very few of the performers seem to have been cast for their acting ability. Rather than making actors dance, the decision appears to have been made to make dancers act. Indeed, Witney Carson never acted again, but made her way to "Dancing with The Stars" and both she and Wespi-Tschopp appear to have gotten their starts on another dancing talent show.

There are plenty of other problems with the film though. From acres of stock footage, never more apparent than during the dance competition at the end; the public staring at the camera as we drive endlessly around the high spots that Panama City has to offer; or the general plot - lifted from "Dirty Dancing" but with a bit of any of those "Step Up" films.

Did I hate it though, or did I find it amusingly terrible? With the exception of the last twenty minutes, mostly the later. I'm sure going to enjoy what the HDTGM team make of it.

It's pretty cool what we have done with artificial intelligence these days. When you ask a computer to make a script for a film about dancing, it's pretty amazing how it could come up with something....wait, what was that? This was written by a person? You mean this was a serious project not some weird attempt at proving A. I. is sentient? Wow. Just wow.

Okay, that changes the tone of this review severely. I mean, I was under the impression that the tourism council of Panama City-in conjunction with other contributors--used an A. I. to make the strangest tourism video ever made. But this was made with legitimate intentions? Well, I am at a loss to continue with this review. I mean, this movie was awful. Just outright awful.

I will say this, it was a pretty good "awful" movie. The dance scenes were fun to watch. The women were largely attractive. The great Gary Daniels is in this film. I mean, It has the goods to be thrown into the pantheon of one of the greatest bad films of all time. If The Room is Citizen Kane, Champagne and Bullets is The Rock and Birdemic is The Birds....then this one has to be akin to Hello Dolly or Guys and Dolls. I don't know, you decide what the good movie equivalent is to it.

Anyway, I have to go to my computer. If this poorly written film can be made, then the bad ideas kicking around in my noodle should also be cogent and sincere.

This movie gets a 3 only because the actors (if you can call them that) can dance really well. The dancing was fun to watch. That's it for the good stuff.

The acting. Where to begin? So wooden and awful! This movie seemed like a parody that a late night comedian would put out...it was laughably bad. Including the part where Ken, the main actor, said "I just need some SPACE right now!" Wow. High School Musical and Step Up were INFINITELY better than this movie, and that is saying something. The main girl, Whitney Carson, was not so bad, but everyone else, from her dad to the "Captain," we're just weak.

There is something to be said about non-actors acting. And that's they should never under any circumstances be actors. The acting in this movie as atrocious. And when it's not atrocious, the AVR is. Seriously it's like half the lines in this movie are recorded after the fact and just spliced into the movie like that. This is not acceptable. This is why boom mikes were invented.

The story itself is pretty unoriginal. Pretty & rich girl who dances has to go live with her father in Panama City for the summer. There, people break into dance all the time and the hotel seems to be a portal into a world where people act out scenes from movies, quote Shakespeare, walk around on stilts and dance. All the time.

There she meets the handsome dishwasher who also dances. At least that's where he normally works because we see him having to clean up rooms as well. Don't ask, it makes no sense but it allows them to introduce this old man who plays a part in the movie later.

There's trouble brewing because one of the managers at the hotel also has his eye on the girl and it turns into a thing between him and the dishwasher guy. This manager also dances I might add. I think everybody in Panama City does or is implied to in this movie.

We're introduced to a fourth member who is also a dancer and the dance partner of dishwasher boy. There's supposed to be some kind of chemistry there but I can't see any.

Typical plot is as follows. Daddy wants his daughter to date the manager guy but she's rather date the dishwasher guy. His dance partner also wants to date the dishwasher guy so we have both guys wanting the rich girl. And both girls wanting the dishwasher guy.

Lots of dancing follows, third act breakup, they get back together and practice for the big dance contest. The old man turns out to be an old dance instructor and helps with their choreography. Of course, what else is there? Rich girl and dishwasher guy wind up together. And the manager and the other girl do as well, or maybe they're just dance partners. I'll admit by this point I wasn't paying much attention.

But as I said. At least the dancing is good. The rest of the movie is just wretched. So unless you just want to see some dancing, don't bother with this one.