Busty Beauties Car Wash

Actor turned director Otto Bauer is advised to stick with his day job after the desultory Hustler video "Busty Beauties Car Wash". Porn, like mainstream Hollywood, has been overtaken by the "high-concept" and this title is all concept, no meat on its bones.

And what frustrated me as a movie structuralist is that even the simple concept was botched. I had watched two recent features that provide direct comparison: Bluebird's "Lesbian Carwash" and the larger-scale Jesse Jane vehicle "Body Heat". Both demonstrate the strong correlation between a playful, soapy car wash scene and lesbian erotica: the British Bluebird effort typically smothers the viewer with dozens of femmes worshiping or humping each other, while one of the best vignettes in "Body Heat" has all the women fire-persons of the station humping as they wash down an engine.

Instead, Bauer's five vignettes spotlighting five beauties have little or nothing to do with the premise -just gonzo sex. For example, Evan Stone goes indoors with the beautiful but utterly fake Rikki Six and humps her in a sex scene that could be dropped into any feature except a period piece; it is so generic it looks as if it were made expressly for a 5-hour compilation or perhaps stand-alone streaming porn like those produced by Brazzers.

My personal fave Missy Martinez looks great soaped up and all wet, but again, her XXX clinch is an anticlimax after her satisfying soft-core horsing around with a fellow actress and a water bucket.

With due respect to his political activism, I have yet to see an interesting video from Larry Flynt's Hustler label - just idiotic gonzo and even worse, dreaded "parodies".