The Phoenix Rises

A team of scientists discover that someone is messing with world weather. After reporting their findings a government agent is dispatched to brief them on a government project and enlist their help to discover the truth.... blah blah blah.... I normally wouldn't waste any more of my time than i already have by watching this but I needed to stop others from 2 hours that they will never get back. The Acting - OMG, Really what were they thinking. My speak n tell could do a better job and i don't even own one. The Plot - Are you serious, been done before with better acting and a storyline. To the 13 or so votes that rated 10, you should be ashamed of yourselves for misleading other users and tricking them into watching this so called movie.

Not convincing at all. WHY were there subtitles for the African bloke speaking English? If you think your actor is not understandable then don't employ him - it was annoying and then no subs for the Russian lines. As others have said annoying background "music". Everything about this is bad - the acting, direction, effects, story. All pretty much a non-event. 1/10 (because I can't give it 0.5).

Only a sense of duty compels me to waste more time on this review. A few others have written comments so well expressed and so on-the- money that I must include some quotable lines:

~Viktor Vedmak (realvedmak) from Canada~ "Whoever made this should either stop making movies or stop doing drugs." "This entire movie is basically extended torture scene." "It really would not surprise me if somebody prone to seizures got one from attempt to watch this crap."

~Robo E from Australia~ "The Acting - OMG, Really what were they thinking. My speak n tell could do a better job."

~mike-ryan455 from United States~ "Amazingly boring mixed with nerve jangling audio!" "You think I am making this up? I wish I were. This one hurt my eyes and my brain. It even hurt my ears with amazingly clanging, jangling noise they called music."

Thanks guys. Your comments not only gave me insight but validation of my own post-viewing impression---(as well as a good laugh-out- loud.) Here's what can add:

1. The screenplay had language, which was meant to support a plot involving hi-tech climate warfare, ominous networks & computer chips, was so awful & sleep-inducing, it sounded like it was transcribed from technical conference meetings at a plumbers' convention---but with substitutions of computer hardware lingo to give it some authenticity.

2. The audio was was an experience worse than the American surge in Iraq--- from the Iraqi side. Also, as the climate attack got underway, loud noises like static discharges, but pumped up in volume, would unrelentingly pop & hiss. Re: Video effects=> Every 2-3 minutes, I'm guessing because of the electromagnetic nature of the attack, the video would be disrupted with electrical interference across the screen like a loud static smear... (this silly audio/video effect was obviously added in post-production editing) It hurt both my eyes, my ears and my sci-fi quality standards.

#3. To sum it up, like the others said, the acting was non-existent. The screenplay was wooden like a used parts manual. But, the female lead Catalina Soto-Aguilar, a newcomer to me, was lovely eye candy... (now you know why I watched it to the end.) So thanks for all the humorous LMAO comments. It seems we agree.

The Phoenix Rises is definitely a product of the "School of Amazingly Bad Lost Rip-Offs," a.k.a. SABLRO.

My first clue that this was purely a SABLRO movie was the frantic cutting back and forth with the funky beam weapon zapping the universe. Then we cut back in time to the trademark "Mysterious Introduction with Death Defying Leaps." Unfortunately we then got subject to the "mysterious danger" - coming in the form of the zombie looking woman with a machine gun as that patented Cool Hero goes through the would be massacre without a scratch or even breaking a sweat. Then we get the Sayid Jamal rip-off crazed torturer and assassin.

You think I am making this up? I wish I were. This one hurt my eyes and my brain. It even hurt my ears with amazingly clanging, jangling noise they called music.

If you value the health of your brain, stay away.

This is your usual modern, cheap, apocalyptic movie. The plot is rushed, muddled and, in places, nonsensical. The narrative is rushed. The acting is mediocre at best. Characterization and motivation are both gauche and ludicrous. Scene changes are edited with an alarming abruptness; people swap locations without warning and explanation a LOT. So far, so good. I tend to love the trashiness of these movies. However, this is the first film I have watched where the audio effects are persistently painful. The jarring sounds, interspersed every two or three minutes, are earbendingly harsh and annoying. I read another reviewer call them 'jangly'. They are much, much worse than that! Almost as bad as a pneumatic drill in your living room. We spent most of our time with the remote altering sound levels and getting increasingly irritated.

The sound guy has ruined what could have been an entertainingly trashy, although appallingly edited, movie.