Coach of the Year

I saw this at the Soho Film festival last summer. It's so bad that it was a joy to sit there and make fun of it, but quietly since the theater was packed with the friends and family of the cast and crew.

To begin, the script is terrible. I mean, really, really bad. Dialog is often incomprehensible. Suddenly there is drama and you have no idea where the heck it came from. All of the romance is just stupid. People just show up and do things and you're thinking, "Why did he do that?" Motivation? We don't know!

Basically, as a viewer, the best you can do is just let yourself go with the flow. Don't try to understand and just enjoy the rare moments when people are swimming and not talking. It's like watching a bad movie when you're stoned- but you're not stoned.

Add to this cliché after tired cliché, and absolutely the worse acting I have seen in a REALLY long time, and you have this film. I would have walked out but, as I mentioned, the theater was full of family and I'm a softy.

Acting sum up: The lead character of the Underdog Coach is an unintentional caricature of himself: a comic trying too hard to be clever but only his mom loves him. His acting is so bad it's almost like he's doing it on purpose.

His chemistry in the supposed love-triangle with his assistant coach and her rich, douche-bag boyfriend (did I say cliché already?) is as sexy as an empty paper bag- and as hollow.

The kids are all OK. (Considering they're amateurs they do OK.) They probably would have done better with lines that didn't sound like they came straight out of a 1986 after school special.

Directing sum up: The direction is non-existent at best. I suspect that the Director was too busy trying to get the damn movie produced (throwing you a bone here, hon) to actually pay attention to his actors. To make up for it, he added a soundtrack heavy on the Wagner that is LOUD. I'm not kidding. It's ridiculous. If I had been stoned, it would have distracted me from the horrible script.

In short, this is supposed to be a movie for people who love the sport of swimming. Believe it or not, I am a swimmer. This should have been right up my alley but I guess I have standards.

I'll keep this short and sweet. Whoever made this film shouldn't quit his day job unless that day job is filmmaking. The film is an insult to the sports genre and comedy as well. It's painful getting past the first twenty minutes let alone the entire movie. I wish I hadn't wasted my time watching this. People say bad movies have a charm to them and one can always watch them with friends stoned or whatever but, this, this is something I wouldn't even watch dead. One star is being generous as this isn't even worthy of being a student film. The dialogue is like a moist fart, the acting is like that of the "Garbage pail kids" movie. Well that's harsh put it's close. No one asked for this film, no one needed it made. No one wants it to this day. I heard from a friend who told me about this film that the director is trying to get distributors to buy it, and it's been like 3+ years. Who in their right mind would buy it, it would be a huge loss to put any investment into it. SOMEHOW it has a 7.1 rating, director probably told friends and family to put high rating cause anything over a 3.5 is way too high for this film. Hopefully we never see anything this bad from this director again. So sad for that olympic athlete they got for the film. I'm thinking she was probably hoping this would be a great family hit that would launch her into an even bigger spotlight. Sadly because of this she might never really be known besides her olympic status.