Sorority Party Massacre

As an incurably devoted fanatic of 80s horror, I always get hopeful and slightly excited when encountering a new film with a typically eighties title and plot description such as "Sorority Party Massacre". And I guess I'm not the only one, neither. Especially the past 10-15 years, there have been loads of remakes of 80s classics, horror flicks that are supposedly set in the 80s, or at least generate a throwback to the lifestyle and atmosphere of that wondrous decade. Alas, though, with almost every attempt they make, one must face the painful and irrevocable truth: genuine 80s movies could only be made in the 80s, and they are gone forever.

"Sorority Party Massacre" is a bizarre piece, and a wildly uneven and chaotic flick. The opening sequences seem to be another weak imitation of Wes Craven's "Scream" that narrowly caused my eyes to start rolling. But then, most of the film turns into a deliberately tongue-in-cheek and light-hearted parody of the entire slasher genre, and even though it was quite bad and amateurish, I must admit it was enjoyable and often hilarious. All the clichés and stereotypes are here, in XXL-size I may add, and there's gore, nudity and absurd killing methods aplenty. It often remains an over-enthusiast but inept fan-boy movie, mind you. For example, the montage to show lewd the bunch of sorority queens are, or the little clips to illustrate just how ill-tempered Detective Watts is, are clear indications of how writer/director Chris Freeman desperately wants to demonstrate how cool he is. But hey, we can sure live with that, but then the finale truly screws up things completely. It isn't easy to come up with a strong climax and original culprit-revelation, I'll gladly admit that, but some of the twists here are too many, and too dumb.

Apart from a handful of randomly hot young actresses, "Sorority Party Massacre" has two or three decent B-actors (Ed O'Ross, Richard Moll), and a bunch of people that used to perform in totally different types of films/TV-show, but somehow managed to make a new career out of appearing briefly in lousy horror productions. I'm referring to Kevin Sorbo (wasn't he Hercules?), Leslie Easterhook (how do you go from "Police Academy" to Rob Zombie movies?) and Ron Jeremy (he just turns up everywhere, I guess).

With a name such as "Sorority Party Massacre" then you know that you will either be in for a very cheesy and campy slasher movie, or you will be in for a hilarious spoof on the slasher genre. With that in mind I sat down to watch "Sorority Party Massacre".

Bad mistake...

I managed to sit 45 minutes into the ordeal that is known as "Sorority Party Massacre" before I gave up on finishing the movie and just got up to find something else to watch. The storyline was just unfathomably boring and slow paced, and in those 45 minutes that I endured very little, and I do mean very little, had happened at all. And I totally lost all interest in watching the rest to see what happened.

Slasher movies have a tradition of being cheesy and low budget, but this one is the crowning on the cake. "Sorority Party Massacre" turned out to be a very, very boring movie.

The characters in the movie were characters that you hardly cared for, and you didn't really care if they lived or died. As in contrast to movies such as "Friday the 13th", where it is not just a matter of if they will die, it is a matter of how they will die. Such was not the case with the cardboard cut-out characters on parade in "Sorority Party Massacre".

I had hoped that seeing Richard Moll in a movie such as this might actually have helped the movie along, even if just a cameo. But I frankly don't recall seeing him here or remembering him here.

This is a movie that I have no intentions of returning to finish at a later point in time, because the movie just never appealed or spoke to me in any way.

Now if you are looking for a good bad horror movie this is your movie but if you are a fan of bad horror movies you already know that any horror movie that has ron jeremy in it is a good bad horror movie. That's why I gave it a generous 5 stars. That being said, I watched this movie because I wanted to watch college kids dies. I literally looked up "movies where college kids die" on Google and this wasn't the movie I was looking for. I wanted realistic deaths and gore but this movie wasn't that. It WAS a good bad horror movie but that's all it was.

Ordered to find a missing daughter, a detective's investigation leads to a small-town gathering of sorority girls for a special pageant only to learn the missing girl is the first in a maniac's rampage against them and must protect the remaining girls.

This is decidedly a mixed bag of a slasher that has a lot going for it and a lot of flaws. One of the biggest issues here is the rather convoluted back-story to the killer that really makes no sense at all, especially with the ridiculous explanation given for the rampage which is quite shockingly stupid. As well, there's the fact that there's more than one. That really makes for quite a confusing set of actions in the later half when the movie twists itself around to throwing in twists for the sake of twists when it makes no sense. There's at least four different occasions when the film could've ended without so much as really raising an eye to the fact that there's a new twist coming about simply for the sake of showcasing something new or supposedly shocking but really does nothing. As well, for something supposedly set-up as being this sleazy it's really not with very little skin on display and almost acting shy about doing so when it does, for there's a lesbian character that repeatedly tries to sleep with everyone but never does except in clothed flashbacks, and the few times it tries to show it off they're hidden in obscure angles or generally try as little as possible to show them off, and it really stinks of false advertisement to supposedly be this raunchy and sleazy but really not. Finally, the fact that this is a missing-person's investigation for the majority of the running time means that there's very little slashing going on until the final half-hour, when things really get going but the majority of the first half is pretty much all shot with barely any action going on at all with the group running all over town trying to find out what's going on with the missing girls. That said, there's still some good stuff going on here as, though there's a rather lame back-story for the killer, the mystery of who's behind it is handled rather well and is a pretty competent guessing game overall. As well, the kills are shockingly brutal and provide plenty of variety and originality with them being based on the individual's own fears, which is a handy trick for further keeping the killer's identity a secret, and when it's all wrapped up with a great body count and plenty of action in that final half, there's some solid work here that does recover some of the flaws present.

Rated R: Graphic Violence, Graphic Language and Nudity.

This film begins with an attractive college student by the name of "Holly Fanning" (Casey Fitzgerald) getting lost while driving to a small lakeside town in California where she hopes to participate in a sorority contest. Unfortunately for her, while trying to ask for help at a remote house, she encounters a serial killer who murdering his victims in unique and horrible ways. The scene then shifts to Los Angeles with Holly's father, "Captain Dan Fanning" (Kevin Sorbo) of the Los Angeles Police Department, asking one of his agents named "Detective William Watts" (Thomas Downey) to go to that small lakeside town to investigate his daughter's disappearance. Upon getting there, however, Detective Watts soon realizes that, not only is the local constable "Sheriff Barney P. Lumpkin" (Ed O'Ross) totally incompetent, but that a serial killer has been operating there for years without anybody even noticing it. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that, although this movie started off reasonably well, it started to unravel about halfway through--and then completely fell apart at the end. To that effect, if it was intended to be a comedy, it wasn't funny. Conversely, if it was intended to be a horror film, it lacked any real horror as well. That being said, I consider this to be one of those films that could have been better with competent direction but, failing that, I have to rated it accordingly. Below average.