Gila!

I have not seen the original so I cannot speak on its accuracy, but as far as crappy monster movies go it was mediocre. The actual acting for this film was far above the average for the genre and the plot line wasn't terrible but it was hard to stay attentive. The movie was very slow and had a monster with very inconsistent ability. I would like to add that the way Gilla runs is absolutely hilarious. The story just continues to drag on with little to no action without a lot of immediate danger. Another very key flaw to this movie is the substantial lack of somewhat attractive women showing cleavage. As a major fan of the directors films this was overall a miss.

People missing and if you keep your eyes open you will know why. Will the authority's figure this out before you become Gila-chow? Kibitz if you like but they will not listen.

Ooey gooey Gila! (2012) is a cute remake of The Giant Gila Monster (1959). This movie was made in the era of campy remakes of favorite 50s movies. We get the theremin music for the monster and lots of oldies on the radio for ambiance. You may not recognize the actors but they are old hands at 50s era type and monster-like movies. There are lots of campy statements. We get autos of the era. At one point a deputy (Kelli Maroney) uses a six-shooter to shoot about 11 shots.

One character exclaims, "Next time people tell me pigs can fly, damn I am going to believe them"

Right, well truth be told, then I wasn't really harboring much of any expectations to the 2012 TV movie "Gila!". Wait, let me correct myself here; I was not harboring any expectations at all.

So why watch the movie? Well, simply because I had the opportunity to do so and because I hadn't seen the movie before. So I opted to give writers William Dever, Steve Mitchell, Jim Nielsen and Paul Sinor the benefit of the doubt.

The storyline in "Gila!" was fairly straight forward. I mean, you know you're not in for an evening of Shakespearian cinema when you sit down to watch a movie such as this. But in all fairness, then the storyline was actually fair enough for a movie such as this.

Now, hold on, I am not saying that "Gila!" is a good movie. Because it most certainly wasn't a good movie. Nay, "Gila!" is one of those creature feature movies that is so bad that it is actually sort of oddly enjoyable to watch. I kept hanging around for the entire 91 minutes to watch what laughable effects was coming up next.

The acting performances in the movie were a mixed bag of nuts. Some of the performances were adequate for a movie such as this, while others were somewhat cringeworthy to behold. The only familiar face on the screen here was Terence Knox, as I had seen him in the "Tour of Duty" series back when I was a teenager.

Visually then "Gila!" is a horrible movie. Hard to comprehend how such laughably bad CGI effects made it to a movie, even back in 2012. The CGI in "Gila!" looks like something straight out of an early 1990s computer game. But it was these horrible CGI effects that actually kept me sticking around to finish watching the movie.

If you enjoy creature features, then I wouldn't exactly recommend that you sit down to watch "Gila!", not unless you have a thing for really, really bad CGI effects.

My rating of "Gila!" lands on a three out of ten stars.

GILA! Opens with the death of a young couple by the rampaging beast of the title.

Enter Chase Winstead (Brian Gross), and his fellow 25 year old "teen" hotrod enthusiasts. In keeping with the original GIANT GILA MONSTER, these "kids" are engaged in harmless hijinks, until the creature starts eating them.

In this update, there's an actual reason given for the lizard's large size. Not-so surprisingly, toxic waste is to blame.

Director Jim Wynorski shows great restraint, as he omits his usual nudity and violence (no boobulars are unveiled, and the CGI blood just isn't that revolting). As for the CGI Gila itself, well, it's serviceable enough, though it does suffer from a clunky walk.

What sets this movie apart from other computer-generated monster epics is its sense of humor. It also wears its low budget proudly, featuring a sheriff with the cheapest, most oddly-fitting hat in existence!

Co-stars the awesome Kelli Maroney as Wilma. Fans of the first film will see Don Sullivan himself if they don't blink!...

...and unfortunately, Jim Wynorski and the SyFy channel didn't know where it was...

So this movie is set in the 1950's, which mean every character is a bad 1950's cliche. They got ahold of someone's vintage auto collection, as long as none of them appear to get wrecked, because you know anyone who owns one of these cars isn't going to wreck on for a SyFy movie.

The weakest part is the Gila Monster itself. Unlike the 1950's movie, which used an ACTUAL Gila Monster, no Gila Monsters actually were used in this film. Instead, they use some of the *worst* CGI I've ever seen. It meets the same fate. As it's 1950's counterpart.

Is there a reason for this movie. It's not funny enough to be a parody, and not lovingly referential enough to be a homage.