Storage Wars: Texas

Why is American "reality" TV SO scripted? Because Americans watch it, I guess. This might be the worst example of such fakery I've ever seen. The acting is so over-the-top it would make Pauly Shore cringe. Guys put on cowboy hats and start monologuing to the camera like Larry the Cable Guy knockoffs--one guy says something stupid, the other guy does a take to the camera, and the music kicks in with a "WAH WAH" to let you know that the first guy is stupid and it's hilarious. If you grabb a bunch of people at random off the street, dress them up like stereotypical rednecks, and say, "Okay, we're filming a show that's basically like The Office but it's Storage Wars: Texas and you're improvising all of it--GO!" this is the kind of crap you'd get. So bad and grating and terrible and dumb. Why couldn't we have actual INTERESTING people talk knowledgeably about their profession and the items they acquire instead of this condescending, pandering, artificial drivel?

The producers are trying to reproduce this franchise like CSI. The only real difference between the shows is the characters being created and they are so obviously created. It doesn't mean that I can't have a bit of fun. It's fake fun for a fake show from a faking franchise. I do like the big guys although cutie Mary Padian is the breakout star. She gets promoted to the big show after this spinoff dies off. It has a few minor differences from the mother show but the formula is too rigid. It has nothing new to say and there's not enough of a reason for it to exist.

The show has been off the air for a couple of years, but in the interest of leaving a review that doesn't overuse the word "moron" or some variation thereof...

I liked the show as much, if not more than the original for the first couple of seasons. Jenny and Mary were great additions for season two, which I think is the strongest season.

But then you could see the wheels coming off in season three. We still had Mary, which was a huge plus, but Moe was gone most of the season. I didn't realize how much Victor was part of the enjoyment of the show until he was out of the opening credits and gone for most of the season as well. Other buyers came and went and you didn't know week to week who would be there. That not only left things unstable, but none of the part time "characters" were very likable. In particular Matt Blevins who is the only person less likable than Dave Hester on the original series.

As for the show in general, I find some of the criticism funny. It IS a TV show, so there are certain things that are done for TV. There have been more than a few times they have come across something I'm quite sure they are aware of the value, but for the benefit of the show they "have it checked out". That doesn't mean the show is fake, and that doesn't mean the people on it are (here comes that word) morons.

If you like the original Storage Wars, it's worth checking out, though you might get ready to abandon ship with season three.

Just the right amount of insanity and wild characters.

If you've seen the original Storage Wars show and like that one, you probably won't like this one, or won't like it as much. This version really has some issues.

They are:

All of main characters are morons. I mean, they seriously lack a certain amount of intelligence. So whereas the original version of Storage Wars clearly has smart people in this line of business -- all of them, the exact reverse is true for this Texas version.

Here's one small example: In the episode that aired 12/20/11, the 2 fat bubbas that work together win one locker, and they find this novelty piece that's shaped like a blimp. So they're looking at it, and we the audience can see it's silver colored, but if you know sterling silver, you can tell that's what it is from your couch in the living room. But one bubba says to the other after a minute, this is sliver, and the other bubba says "Really?" -- cause he can't tell what sterling silver looks like 4 inches from his face. Yet he's in the business of buying & selling merchandise. Good God, man. How these 2 make a living is beyond me.

The woman is as much a redneck as the bubbas (i.e., appears to be poorly educated), and, even the New York transplant guy is a complete moron. His arrogance is annoying, not endearing, because he's as moronic as the others. I don't even know a thing about scooters, but seeing the one in the 12/20/11 show? Even you would guess that thing wasn't worth that much, but this New Yorker thinks it's worth a fortune, and lets the bubbas run it up on him.

Who the hell did the casting for this show??? Seriously? Why didn't the producers cast more interesting characters? And ones with *some* intelligence? How can I enjoy a show with characters this dumb? How can anyone in America really enjoy watching this?

Only one of this cast shows any smarts, the Collector guy (forget what his nickname really is), but this character is a complete clone of Barry the Collector from the original show, right down to funky clothing and collectible cars. No originality in casting here...!

Lame show overall. After 3 or 4 episodes, I'm done, I'll just stick to watching the original version. Heck, even the auctioneer is inferior to the one from the original show. The auctioneer on this show is bland & boring, and his ability to get the price up is not great. He could be up to $800 on an auction, and instead of going up by $100 increments, or even $50, he'll be pushing it up by increments of $25. What?? What professional auctioneer would do this when the price goes over a couple hundred bucks? So even the auctioning isn't interesting. Lame, lame show. Too bad.