Storage 24

We all know that Alien was 'the daddy' when it comes to these sorts of 'monster-munching' movies. You have your alien/mutant/werewolf/whatever, chasing around a load of humans who are trapped in a spaceship/laboratory/missile silo/whatever, until the humans are suitably depleted enough to luckily beat the beast.

Storage 24 conforms to this template. My question: so what? I read once on the internet, when someone was comparing George Lucas' (commercially unsuccessful) 'Willow' to the (critically-acclaimed and money-spinning) Lord of the Rings franchise, they said: Obviously Lord of the Rings is a better film, but is it fun? Storage 24 is not a classic film. But, in my opinion, it IS fun.

It never takes itself too seriously. The characters are just about well-formed enough to be enjoyable and the monster is suitably horrible. Therefore, it pretty much has everything you can want when you're picking a monster-munching movie to eat popcorn to.

If you want something deep, classy and serious - go elsewhere. Suspend your disbelief... and enjoy.

NOTE: if there was an Oscar for 'best use of yapping dog toy,' Storage 24 would win hands down. And probably again the next year, too.

Quite well made with some nice creature effects, but I'm afraid it has little else in its favour. Yes, there are a few 'jump out of your skin' moments, but it really doesn't do anything we haven't seen before. For me, they revealed far too much of the creature far too soon; for horror to work well, it needs to be in the shadows. It's what the audience doesn't see that scares them; the imagination is a very powerful thing if manipulated correctly. The performances were all decent enough although nobody really stood out. On the plus side the running time was nice and short and the pace was kept pretty high throughout. Oh, and I have to admit, I love the ending!… Sadly not quite enough for it to get my recommendation though.

SteelMonster's verdict: NOT RECOMMENDED

My score: 5.6/10

You can find an expanded version of this review on my blog: Thoughts of a SteelMonster.

It should be no surprise that a former (and still working SFX man) was at the helm of this movie. You can clearly see his handwriting or rather effects writing or whatever you want to call it. Unfortunately the script and the characters do not hold up to his effects standard. And while the movie is not bad, it's not really good either.

You get cardboard characters and story developments that are easily guessed by anyone watching the movie. It's still a neat ride overall, but never a really completely satisfying one. I don't really blame the actors too much on this, because I've seen some of them in better movies and with better performances. If the focus could have been on other things than the effects and the set pieces, there might have been a chance this movie would have gathered a larger following.

The plot: A few people get trapped in a warehouse after a military plane goes down.

Storage 24 is a low budget, generic Alien clone. It's not really all that good, but I couldn't bring myself to hate it. For one thing, it's got Geoff Bell, the security guard from Botched, in a minor role. That brought back memories of Boris and his awesome lines. Besides the cult actor, there's also a cheesy alien who looks like a bizarre ripoff of several iconic aliens. The most obvious influence seems to be Predator, but there's also a lot of District 9 thrown in, too.

The acting and writing are uneven, but for grizzled genre veterans, this surely won't be a show stopper. If you've sat through Syfy original movies, then you've probably seen worse, though the competition is certainly going to be fierce. There's a bit of misogyny, macho posturing, and bland hero-making (where a whiny everyman transforms himself into a manly hero), but the biggest problem is that not too much happens for the first half of the movie. If you're the type of person who hates sitting through boring character development in a movie where you know that the characters are doomed to die soon, then you'll probably be a bit bored and restless. The deaths are a bit repetitive and not very original, but they're gory enough to keep the attention of most horror fans.

If you're looking for something deadly serious, I'd skip this movie. It's too cheesy and quirky to really take seriously. I have to wonder if they realized they were making a bad movie, then decided to just add a bunch of silly scenes, like actors feeling up mannequins and playing with toys. Well, for some people, that seems to have utterly ruined the movie, but, for me, it actually managed to save the movie. I really can't hate a movie which has actors copping a feel on a mannequin.

If you're the kind of person who needs high brow entertainment in his science fiction, you should definitely skip this movie. If you're looking for something to tide you over until the next direct-to-video ripoff of Alien comes out, then you should give some thought to watching this. If you're like me, then you've sat through much worse, and you'll probably be able to salvage some degree of entertainment from Storage 24.

The DVD case that is.

OK, expecting a masterpiece of claustrophobic stalk and slash horror with this one is as daft as some of the dialogue is in the actual film. It is after all a low budget, low grade British clone of many many other films of similar formulaic ilk. But that said, you have to have some standards and a point when you stand up and say it's just not good enough to blame costs and accept poorness because of a willingness to be indie cool.

Storage 24 is a bad film, yes there is a good portion of gore for those inclined, the creature design is decent and the inner conflict in the group (boy/girl romantic triangle trouble wouldn't you know) at least keeps character interest from sinking to the depths of us not caring right away. But the screenplay meanders all too often, boorish chatter and emoting only serving to make you prey the creature turns up post haste. Jolts are telegraphed, as are the switching sympathies with the lead protagonists. Acting is poor, except maybe Ned Dennehy, who is playing a bonkers hermit smelly bloke and enjoys himself, and Noel Clarke as the hero in waiting dude scurrying around trying to save the day.

Clarke also produces, while Johannes Roberts directs, Clarke (Adulthood/Kidulthood) is much better than this, as is Roberts (F), but the pair are just saying we have watched Super 8 and Alien and feel like turning one out ourselves. That says there is no pretensions here, but it is also lazy film making. The explosive finale comes laced with tongue firmly in cheek, but nothing previously warrants this being tagged as a hip and funny horror/comedy, tried it has, but Severance it isn't. It's the inconsistencies that coupled with the standard formula make Storage 24 a weak film that's difficult to recommend to anyone but the type of horror fan that keeps watching all those Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday 13th sequels...and loving them. 4/10