- Nimona: Kids. Little kids. They grow up believing that they can be a hero if they drive a sword into the heart of anything different. And I'm the monster? I don't know what's scarier. The fact that everyone in this kingdom wants to run a sword through my heart... or that sometimes, I just wanna let 'em.
- [after escaping the institute building with Ballister]
- Nimona: Something, something, something... we win.
- Ballister Boldheart: Did I ever mean anything to you? Or was it all just a lie?
- Ambrosius Goldenloin: A lie? Says the guy running around with a monster!
- Ballister Boldheart: Don't call her that! She's smart, kind, and quite sophisticated.
- Nimona: That guy just peed his armor! He peed his armor!
- Ballister Boldheart: You want to know who the kid is?
- Nimona: Ooh, I like where this is going.
- Ballister Boldheart: You want to show them?
- Nimona: I'd love to.
- Ballister Boldheart: Let's break stuff.
- Nimona: Metal.
- [from clip]
- Nimona: [still disguised as a little boy] I'd hate to say it, but you make a pretty good bad guy.
- [Ballister glares at her]
- Nimona: Who do you want to kill first?
- Ballister Boldheart: I'm not killing anybody.
- Nimona: This one. This guy looks extremely punchable.
- Ballister Boldheart: You're right. He is actually extremely punchable.
- Ballister Boldheart: What if you held it in? If you didn't shape-shift?
- Nimona: I'd die.
- Ballister Boldheart: Good Gloreth, that's horrible!
- Nimona: Don't be so gullible. I wouldn't die die. I just sure wouldn't be living.
- Nimona: [In the cleaning supplies closet] Not an exit. That's on me.
- Ballister Boldheart: [Referring to Goldenloin] Did you see the way he looked at me? He really thinks I killed the queen.
- Nimona: Everyone thinks you killed the queen.
- [Smacks Ballister on the head]
- Nimona: Snap out of it, boss!
- Ballister Boldheart: Ow! What was that for?
- Nimona: [Holding Ballister's face with both hands] Look, I can get us out of here, but things are about to get... weird.
- Ballister Boldheart: About to get weird?
- Nimona: Promise me you won't freak out.
- Ballister Boldheart: How can I promise if I don't know what's gonna happen?
- Nimona: Well, I guess you'll just have to trust me.
- Ballister Boldheart: Why would I trust you? !
- Nimona: [an axe chops through the wooden door] Because if you don't, you're gonna die in this closet!
- Ballister Boldheart: Die?
- Nimona: Now promise!
- Ballister Boldheart: I promise!
- Nimona: Promise promise?
- Ballister Boldheart: [Arrows whooshing around him] On my life!
- Nimona: [Grabs an arrow before it hit her] Then say it again.
- Ballister Boldheart: [while holding a toilet plunger with a tissue roll] I PROMISE!
- Nimona: Oh, wow... even when you see the horn?
- Ballister Boldheart: Horn? ! What do you mean... like a trumpet?
- Nimona: JUST PROMISE!
- Ballister Boldheart: [rapidly] I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE I WILL NOT FREAK...
- Ballister Boldheart: [Nimona shapeshifts into a rhinosaurus as Ballister watches in disbelief, open mouthed] Uh...
- [Nimona bursts out of the room]
- Nimona: [to the knights] This is the part where you run.
- Nimona: Evil Larry. That's a great villain name. You should totally change your name.
- Ballister Boldheart: Never going to happen.
- Nimona: Whatever, Larry.
- Ballister Boldheart: How did I get here?
- Nimona: Oh, I dragged you for like seven miles.
- Ballister Boldheart: What happened?
- Nimona: Your head bounced on the sidewalk a couple times.
- Ballister Boldheart: It's all so foggy.
- Nimona: Really? Well, you thanked me, said you'd forever be in my debt, and that we'd always be best friends. Totally happened.
- Ballister Boldheart: You never said you could turn into me.
- Nimona: Oh. By the way, I can turn into you.
- Ballister Boldheart: Well, for the record, that is nothing like me.
- Nimona: You're right. You're never that much fun.
- Nimona: We are villains. Embrace it.
- Ballister Boldheart: No. We're doing things my way this time. No one gets hurt.
- Nimona: I was going for the hurting people version.
- Ambrosius Goldenloin: I tried to stop him, bro.
- Sir Thoddeus Sureblade: Really? Like this? Oh hi Ballister. Come right in. And of course you can bring your whale, ostrich, and big fat unicorn.
- Ambrosius Goldenloin: Fat unicorn?
- Sir Thoddeus Sureblade: Yeah, you saw it. The thing with the horn that broke everything.
- Ambrosius Goldenloin: You mean rhinoceros?
- Sir Thoddeus Sureblade: If I meant rhinoperos, I would have said rhinoperos.
- Ballister Boldheart: He didn't chop off my arm, he *dis*armed a weapon!
- Nimona: Wooow. They brainwashed you good.
- Demon Baby: Oh. Hey, buddy. I'm sorry for kidnapping you.
- Diego the Squire: It's okay.
- Demon Baby: [In the deep voice] OR AM I!
- Ballister Boldheart: We're never gonna make it on that train without them seeing us. We need a distraction.
- Nimona: Who has four thumbs and is great at distractions?
- Ballister Boldheart: Fine, but dial it down. Something inconspicuous and discreet like... And she's gone.
- [Evil Laugh]
- Citizen 1: The queen Killer
- [citizens screaming]
- Ballister Boldheart: [Nimona in disguise] If you see something, slay something! It's Ballister Boldheart! Boo!
- Citizen 2: Ahh!
- Ballister Boldheart: [Nimona in disguise]
- [burbles]
- Ballister Boldheart: Yaah! I'm evil, and I hate everybody! Not as much as I hate myself. Can somebody give me a hug? Baah! I hate smiles!
- Knight Guard 1: Got him!
- Ballister Boldheart: [Nimona in disguise] I hate Cupcakes! And I think babies are ugly! Hoo hoo! Look at this! I'm Loitering, and I'm littering. I hope you all like freestyle Jazz.
- [Plays random notes on Saxophone]
- Knight Guard 1: Get him!
- Knight Guard 2: Hurry up!
- Knight Guard 1: Stop pushing me! I'm trying!
- Knight Guard 2: I'm not Pushing! I'm encouraging you forward!
- Knight Guard 1: Well, do it without hitting!
- Ambrosius Goldenloin: [seeing footage of what looks like Ballister playing a saxophone] He hates freestyle jazz.
- Ballister Boldheart: I'm still taking the 600 gold.
- [Nimona breathes fire and destroys the pieces of the game]
- Ballister Boldheart: You never told me you could breathe fire.
- Nimona: Oh.
- Ballister Boldheart: Metal. Best two out of three?
- Nimona: It's better than your plan of "I'm gonna sit in the dark and mope in a room with no toilets."
- Ballister Boldheart: I wasn't moping!