The Big Wedding

I don't even know where to start on how absolutely bad this movie is.

I typically only write reviews when a movie is unexpectedly great, or moving in one way or another. But I felt compelled to write a review for this movie, if nothing else than to send a message to Hollywood that viewers are actually smarter then they give us credit.

You would think with a movie that features not one, not two, not three but four or more major actors would at least be tolerable. Wrong. Did I miss something, are actors just like the rest of us, living from paycheck to paycheck, barely making end's meet? That's the only excuse that would "maybe" allow me to accept why some of these people took these roles. Or perhaps there was an old "debt" that needed to be repaid to a director or studio? There must be some excuse, because anybody with any kind of preservation for their career would have passed. Robert (De Niro), are you serious? I watched you accept a lifetime achievement award a year or two ago and you went on and on about all the crappy roles you've accepted in recent years (including "Little Fockers", which by the way is head and shoulders about this movie) - and yet here you are again. ??? Please don't tell me YOU need a paycheck too?

Bottom line: I would not be completely surprised if this movie wasn't written on the back of a bar napkin at some cheesy off the road place over the period of a couple hours. Character development is extremely shallow and inconsistent and story cohesion and development is about non-existent.

Do yourself a favor and watch something else. Anything.

This film is about the eventful wedding of a young man, when his devout Catholic biological mother turns up for the wedding.

"The Big Wedding" sounds interesting, and might even have the potential to be another "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". With the super stellar cast, I thought it could not go wrong. But it did. The characters are so poorly developed, that they appear so empty. Each of them occupy only a small amount of screen time to make viewers care about them. they are just empty vessels for hollow and unfunny jokes, and each time the jokes fall flat. The wedding may be eventful, but not theatrical or entertaining. It it's such a pity that it turned out to be a bore despite the super cast.

My wife suggested we go see this movie, after all, you have to work really hard to spoil something with De Niro, Keaton and Robin Williams in it, right?

Well, apparently not. Just throw together a completely meaningless plot, fill it with a couple awkward sexual scenes, remove any hint of real feeling or nuance, and then fill what's left with numerous clichés that are worthy of a B porno flick - and you will get some idea of what "The Big Wedding" is like.

It's another one in the long and sadly ever-growing line of Hollywood fiascoes, built on the premise that it's enough to throw together a bunch of star actors to get a blockbuster. It's not. The feeling you get is that the film's budget was spent on securing the big hitters, and then a couple of hundred bucks that were left were given to some sex-obsessed teenager in high school, to write the plot.

As a result, this movie which claims to be a comedy, is a farce, a farce of what a comedy should be. After watching for a little over an hour, I left without finishing it. It was super boring, predictable and entirely unimpressive. Don't waste your time watching this grotesque concoction of nothing.

'Valentines Day,' 'New Year's Eve,' 'Love Actually,' etc. etc., all movies with 'stellar' casts that were barely watchable. Well, this one tops even those. Absolutely horrendous script that had my wife chuckling a few times but me wondering when this tripe would end. I can't imagine how embarrassed the performers would be if they were forced to sit and watch it. I honestly don't know how movies like this get made, especially with such casts. The only thing I can think of is that it gives the actors a quick payday without having to work very hard, so who can blame them really. I'm glad we went to the cheap matinée.

In short, the jokes are all sex-related and not funny, many of the lines seem to have been bad ad-libs, one character speaks in subtitles in a poor attempt to add sophistication to the movie (and she's very annoying at that), and you couldn't care less what happens to any of the characters. Oh, and it has Amanda Seyfried and Kathryn Heigle, who's tracks to stardom are proof that God exists.

If you're reading this after the fact, I feel your pain.

Over all the movie was a bit of a disappointment even though I've been looking forward to seeing it for quite some time (Not for the big A- list case either), Rather I was looking forward to seeing the Talents of Ben Barnes back on the big screen. I wasn't disappointed in that regard. His portrayal of Alejandro was brilliant, his American accent was exact and his Spanish was impressive as well. I thought Al and Missy were adorable, but the movie itself had way too much going on. Just when you thought the story line couldn't get any crazier something stupider happened and by the end it was hard to keep everything that was going on straight. It had endearing and sweet family moments that were really it's only saving grace. If you had cut out half the random story lines and the random awkward sexual parts that...for the record did not add to the plot line, it would have been a great movie but as usual a potentially good film is ruined with crude comedy. That being said some of the story lines that had been supplemented by crude comedy were amusing story lines but were sort of ruined.