Barely Legal

This movie should be shown in all film classes. Director Jose Montesinos does a phenomenal job bringing the best out of the actors. Jeneta St. Clair puts in an Oscar worthy performance by portraying the troubles that the average American teenage woman has to deal with. Naomi L. Selfman wrote a script that is unrivaled. The basic story lines used in everyday stories are completely thrown away to create something new, and something better. Ignoring the conventional way telling a story, Naomi tells writes the screenplay in a much more accurate way, and therefore it is easier for the audience to relate to the characters. The post-production of the film is possibly the best I've ever scene. It has a soundtrack that rivals the Breakfast Club, and flawless editing. The flow of the movie keeps constantly entertained. This is the best movie I have seen in years, and plan on watching it many more times in the following weeks.

I would like to begin by apologizing about using word to describe such a well-crafted cinematic masterpiece. I have nothing else at my disposal and words will not do it justice. This is the brilliant coming of age story of three young women who happen to all share the same birthday. The actresses playing these women should receive not only Oscar nods, but also the hardware. Hell, they should give them Best Actress, Best Actor, and Best Supporting Actress just so Jeneta St. Clair, Lisa Younger, and the refreshingly brilliant Melissa Johnston do not have to share a statue. There is no way a trifecta so perfect in acting should not be recognized as a whole. The Director, Jose Montesinos, utilizes his cast and film crew so effectively, the viewer does not feel as if they are watching a film, but actually participating in the entire experience. The connectivity he is able to bring out of all of the actors and actresses is unparalleled. There is a young genius at work behind the camera in this film. You will feel the emotion, pain, hunger, and desperation of every character. I mean every character. Tanya Yiang, who plays the role of Girl, will leave you riveted to the screen. You will despise Morgan Benoit's Jake with vitriol normally only reserved for the most heinous of villains, such as Game of Thrones' King Joffrey. You will feel the religious fortitude of Kevin Yarbaugh's Priest. There is no other way around it. The director got everything possible out of every actor who graced the screen.

Although that is impressive on its own there is little actors can do without dialogue, and the screen writer, Naomi L. Selfman, nailed this one on every facet of good storytelling. If you are someone who loves dialogue, Ms. Selfman's word craft is a treat to behold. Forget the wittiness many critics claimed of such wordsmiths as Kevin Williamson or Diablo Cody, they are not even in a league with Naomi Selfman. She is more deserving to be whispered in the same breaths as Poe, Keats, Whitman, Dante, or even Shakespeare himself. To say that the script of the film Barely Legal was Shakespearean in quality would be an insult to the film for it has set a new standard to which I am certain books, TV shows, and movies will be referred to as Barely Legalian. It was with some distrust that I took the Netflix recommendation from the PS3 Netflix Max option, but I could not be happier that I had done so. This film was a transcendental and life-changing experience for me and I am sure many others. I am seriously considering getting the three main characters tattooed across my torso, but alas even that tribute would not be worthy of such astute filmmaking genius. If you want to have your life changed and be awakened to what truly standard filmmaking is, then check out The Asylum's Barely Legal, but be prepared for the decrepit, weak, worn-out, schlock that Hollywood normally produces to not even touch your movie viewing palate any longer. It will be like having the most astounding meal prepared for you and then trying to tell yourself McDonald's will be good the next time you go there. There is only pre-Barely Legal movie viewers and post-Barely Legal movie viewers. I am glad to call myself one of the latter and if you take the leap you will be too.

None of the Asylum teen sex comedies are particularly good, so saying that Barely Legal is the best of them is probably not saying very much. It never does reach the atrociousness of Sex Pot and Celebrity Sex Tape and Milf and 18 Year Old Virgin weren't much better either. Barely Legal does at least have Myko Olivier, who does bring likability to the only really relateable character in the movie. It does have a decent soundtrack and is thankfully not as vulgar or intelligence-insulting as the other Asylum teen sex comedies. Nothing stands out visually though, the movie can have an over-saturated look to it and the camera work was flat-looking. I was not expecting the dialogue to be any good, it was one of the worst things about all of Asylum's teen sex comedies and has never been a strong point with The Asylum either. That doesn't excuse it being so banal, unpleasantly smutty and embarrassingly cheesy all the time, the way it's delivered too it sounds improvised and any lines so any lines meant to be funny or memorable just didn't have the impact. The comedy literally doesn't exist, and some of the attempted sexiness is enough to make anybody cringe. The story was a disaster to the extent that there was hardly any at all. What there is of it is incredibly predictable, but even worse is it feels too much of an excuse to string along lots of sights of tits, nudity and such. Everything just felt shallow and half-hearted. The characters are also swamped, with the sole exception of Eric Barely Legal is the kind of movie that doesn't let you root for them, and nothing whatsoever is done to develop it. They're just there as stereotypical ciphers. And the acting is atrocious really, the girls are hot but their acting talents certainly are not and there didn't seem to be a lot of real chemistry between them. In conclusion, not a good movie at all but compared to all the other Asylum teen sex comedies seen it definitely could have been worse. 3/10 Bethany Cox

Watched this on the Tubi streaming service. Free w/ ads. There was one ad, for a toothbrush, and it preceded a scene involving an electric toothbrush. Also Tubi didn't seem to edit this for content or anything.

I recently watched parts of Bikini Valley Car Wash on Prime Video and so went looking for a batter example of the genre. BVCW is about 25% bikini girls storyline and 75% creepy dudes doing bad observational humor to stretch the run time to make it a feature film.

The thing about Barely Legal is that it is a full fledged movie. A script, production values, sets, props, color correction and everything you expect from a theatrically released film.

If you are of the "Plot Holes = Bad Movie" set, then you could obviously make a whole "Honest Trailer" or Cinema Sin" video on the movie.

3 best friends live in a huge McMansion alone together, w/ no obvious source of income. And they all three turn 18 on the same day. And while two of them are sexually active, all three of them consider themselves virgins because none of them have had penis in vagina sex. And they all eventually decide to lose their virginity at their birthday party.

So the story is ridiculous and contrived, but absolutely works for the point of making the movie. And the dialog works in universe. The question is never, "why would anyone say that?", and more the choices characters make in the way they choose their lives.

Some of the jokes land and are actually funny.

Andre Meadows, of the Black Nerd Comedy Youtube channel is in this. He and Lee Doud are obnoxious party goers. Apparently the people at Asylum liked him enough to bring him back for their next sex comedy, Celebrity Sex Tape (2012).

It really feels like everyone involved with the production was just really happy to be working on the project.

If you are looking to watch this type of movies, you could do far far worse than these series of sex comedies from The Asylum 2009-2014.

The Asylum Sex Comedies: 18-Year-Old Virgin (2009) Sex Pot (2009) #1 Cheerleader Camp (2010) Milf (2010) Barely Legal (2011) Celebrity Sex Tape (2012) Bikini Spring Break (2012) Alpha House (2014) Asian School Girls (2014) Bachelor Night (2014)

Ah,... what can be said?? 1st off.. do NOT try to take this seriously.

Bad acting.. check Shitty plot? check Predicable BS? Mode definitely CHECK! However thinking of this as a moronic parody of a moronic film.. well u can't help but laugh it's soooooooooooooooooooo bad.

Nice cute girls.. nice tits and a few other bits.. nothing porn like.

However ultimately it's a bad parody... and you are better off watching Piranha 3DD since it's infinitely better and just as funny if not funnier.

btw fyi.. if you have under 2 hrs to totally waste and like cute semi naked girls.. well...........