The Wizards Books: A Tale of Three Sisters

I would be willing to bet upwards of $12 that I've watched this movie more than anyone else on the planet. Not because it's good, but because I've tried my very darndest to figure out what the heck is supposed to be going on in this directionless fever dream of a film.

It was written by AI. Neither you, nor your aunt from Boise, nor anyone else can convince me otherwise. The dialogue carries the same senseless, meandering nothingness as an average conversation with ChatGPT. For example: The headmaster of Sim's Castle (or is the the Kensingworth's castle? The movie seems uncertain) uses a "glimpse rock " to contact the spirit of his ancestor (we know how it works because he spends a full paragraph talking to himself about what a glimpse rock is) to ask him if "the book" is the only book. His grandfather (with the bad-butt name "Cameronwolf") assures him that yes, the book of no return is the ONLY book...only to say that there are three books a couple of lines later.

Later on, the professors (all of whom seem to outright despise children) are all talking about how the book has been found...only to randomly let one of the professors know mid-conversation that he'll be teaching "beginners art" that term. They then go right back to talking about the book. Again I say, this script has all the telltale markings of being AI generated.

I won't spend too much time harping on the acting. It's not good. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings; I'm sure they had a lot of fun making this. I also hope they have day jobs that they really enjoy, like accounting or managing a local Gamestop.

Oh, there are also musical numbers. They don't start until about an hour into the movie. They lyrics are also AI generated; one song is completely incomprehensible. Another is about a minor character's "Mama," who's never seen, heard, nor mentioned ever again.

In summary, this movie is really bad. It's the worst thing I've ever watched, in fact, and I've watched "The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens," "A Talking Cat!?!," and "Gooby." All of those are practically Shakespearian compared to this movie. I'd only recommend it to people who like to laugh at bad movies; it fills that role very well.

Also, how does the scenery taste, Gobleretta? Or is it Golberetta? Again, the script is unsure.

This started off okay when the kids found a magic book and a box filled with wands. Despite the poor acting, I gave it a chance and kept watching. It was really awful that one of the kids in the film died, but weird how no one actually cared really apart from his friend. The villains are seriously comic and even look silly. Then an hour or so into the film, a character starts singing, and this becomes a musical but not very good. Soon it's like watching a bad quality Harry Potter film when students are invited to a magic wizarding school by steam train, all carrying wands. Its a rip off to the Harry Potter film, not entirely but halfway. I gave it a 2 because of the decent background effects of bats and birds, adding ambience, although it was like a school panto instead of a film.

This is a truly awful movie. Where to start! The standard of acting, the costumes, the effects, the script. But the biggest criticism is that so much has been ripped off from the Harry Potter movies. Not ten minutes into the movie and a 90% identical facsimile of Dobby appears. It went downhill from there. It is a pity because the story idea was good and in more competent hands it might have been a good solid family movie. Some movies are so bad that they become much-loved icons of "bad". This is not one of them. I'm away now to perform the Obliviate spell on myself to forget I ever wasted time watching this dross.

I can't understand why Warner Bros or JK Rowling haven't instructed their lawyers due to the obvious plagiarism of the works of Harry Potter? Even the soundtrack is the HP theme just slightly altered but not enough. To this atrocious mess add in an appallingly dreadful script, wooden acting on an industrial scale, embarrassing FX, plus a dead ringer for Dobby, and the subsequent melange is a horror show, but not even Ed Wood could force himself to be tied to this. Hopefully all involved are no longer working in the industry and all copies of this film will be incinerated to protect future generations.