The Human Centipede III

Bill Boss the warder of a tough maximum security prison watches the European art house black comedy films involving the human centipedes and invites the films director Tom Six to see how viable this would be in real life

I can't say I was a massive fan of the original HC . I missed out on the sequel and only watched this one because I had the opportunity of seeing it free and contains the bizarre casting of Eric Roberts and former porn star Bree Olson. On top of all that there seemed to be a meta-fictional aspect of director Tom Six playing himself and the trailer looked good . What's wrong with investing a couple of hours in blackly comical horror ?

Well to be fair the trailer is accurate in a way of "Meglomaniac abuses power and really pushes the boat out" but the execution is dreadful . Dieter Laser looks totally camp in the trailer as Bill Boss and while the performance is bearable in a two minute trailer it's not in a feature length film . I can understand that he's not supposed to be taken seriously for a moment but that's not really the point as he shouts , squeals and uses lots and lots of swear words while inflicting violence on people . It's not satire we're watching but absolute farce and Laser becomes painfully irritating , so much so that you find yourself looking forward to Eric Roberts appearing if only to see a calm and reserved performance . Yes chaps you read that right - Eric Roberts probably gives the most calm , rational and realistic acting performance in the entire movie . I suppose you could also give Tom Six a back handed compliment in making a sequel that is a billion light years removed from the original movie but nothing about it really works and in cinematic terms it feels like a juvenile delinquent who wants to shock the adult world but just ends up looking silly . Take this insult:

"Not even the corpse of a spastic would want you . Now f--k off"

That's probably the most witty line in the film and I've come out with funnier compliments throughout my entire life which hopefully says more about THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE III than it says about me

I've been a big supporter of writer/director Tom Six and his taboo-busting Human Centipede films since the beginning: I rated the first film 8/10, and gave the jaw-droppingly twisted sequel 9/10. The only reason I didn't give Part Two full marks was because I believed that Six still had a few tricks up his sleeve and would probably surpass himself with his third film.

As it happens, I was wrong.

As far as the controversial content is concerned, the film delivers numerous scenes that live up to Six's notorious reputation, kicking off with some sexual abuse, before proceeding to serve up such sordid treats as the torture of a prisoner with pans of boiling water, a nauseating castration scene, the insertion of a gun barrel into a man's stoma, the consumption of human testicles and dried clitorises, some wound-rape and coma-rape, and, of course, the creation of not just the biggest human centipede yet, but also a human caterpillar, the surgical process for both depicted in graphic detail.

But while the film doesn't wimp out on the deviancy, it does suffer from two major problems that make it a very unsatisfying experience overall. The first is the prison setting, which is so implausible that it renders the whole movie utterly ridiculous. The first two films, while unlikely, were at least vaguely plausible: it was possible to believe that a raving lunatic might try to stitch a few folks ass-to-mouth out of curiosity, but the notion that the head of a large correctional facility could do the same, with the co-operation of his staff, is absurd in the extreme and seriously detracts from the film's overall effectiveness as a shocker. Even when viewed as a black comedy, it's still a dumb premise.

The second issue I have is with Dieter Laser (the actor who played Dr. Heiter in the first film): his performance as sadistic warden Bill Boss is hugely irritating, the guy drawing out every single syllable at the top of his voice to the point where I would have liked to have seen HIS mouth sewn to someone's ass just to shut him up. Laurence Harvey (bug-eyed star of the second film) is also crap, but at least he's not quite as annoying. Both guys are out-acted by porn-star Bree Olson, who is also a whole lot easier on the eyes.

If the subtitle 'Final Sequence' is to be believed, this film sees an end to the Human Centipede series; it's a hugely disappointing way to wrap things up. Let's hope that Six's next film sees the director back on form: we need something to flush away any memories of this rather obnoxious mess.

The Plot.

Bully prison warden Bill Boss, leading a big state prison in the US of A, has a lot of problems; his prison statistically has the highest amount of prison riots, medical costs and staff turnover in the country.

But foremost he is unable to get the respect he thinks he deserves from his inmates and the state Governor.

He constantly fails in experimenting with different ideas for the ideal punishment to get the inmates in line, which drives him, together with the sizzling heat, completely insane.

Under threats of termination by the Governor, his loyal right hand man Dwight comes up with a brilliant idea.

A revolutionary idea which could change the American prison system for good and save billions of dollars.

An idea based on the notorious Human Centipede movies, that will literally and figuratively get the inmates on their knees, creating the ultimate punishment and deterrent for anyone considering a life of crime.

I LOVED the first two....especially the second which was really surreal.

Trust me...this movie is horrible. It's made for three dollars and all it really can be distilled down to is a screaming pseudo Nazi.

There is no real plot like the first two.

The production values are way inferior as well.

I was SO hoping this would be good.

It's not.

In the slightest.

There are no words in the English language (that i can use here) that can accurately describe how utterly terrible, awful, and just downright dumb this 'movie' was. May i first ask who wanted this movie to be made? What? No-one? OK, THEN WHY ON EARTH DID TOM SIX DECIDE TO MAKE THIS Piece OF GARBAGE??? There is no way, any sane human being would believe that this was in any way imaginable a good idea. It has some of the worst acting i have ever seen in my entire life from every single person in this film and will someone tell Dieter Laser to STOP BLOODY SHOUTING EVERY DAMN SENTENCE LIKE WE ARE 100km AWAY, JEEZ. And on top of the god- awful acting it comes accompanied by the worst scripts in history, and a plot that made absolutely no sense whatsoever, in fact, there was no plot for 90% of this thing. This is 'The Human Centipede' right? SO WHERE WAS THE CENTIPEDE FOR THE FIRST HOUR AND 20 MINUTES??? I honestly do not know which was more difficult to sit through, the surgery (or lack thereof) or that piece of garbage that was the culmination of bad acting, writing, directing and everything else. There were a few times where the film showed signs of trying to be satirical and even self aware but it was so ridiculously dumb that by that point you just want to gouge your eyes out. I don't even know why i am still wasting my time talking about this when i just wasted an hour and 40 minutes of my life watching it. So here's the score and if you want to subject yourself to torture be my guest because i'm out. - 0.3/10

"The taste will never leave your mouth", don't eat anything while you watch this, you have been warned. This was one of my anticipated horror films of 2015 and I must say I was really disappointed. With the film's big premise and ambition, it turns out to be ultimately dull throughout with little entertainment here. The film is filled with perversely sick moments, immaturely psychotic performance, and shocking GORES that's intended to make you puke and gross you out instead of making a gleefully enjoyable one to watch. One of the main problems here is the performance of Dieter Laser which make him looks like Marlon Wayans going pull psycho which is amusing to watch for like 5 minutes and the rest is just childishly annoying and just dull, making the film laughable and looks like a parody of itself. Another problem is how the story drags out and we have to sit through the whole psychotically dull act and vulgarly racist dialogue before the final sequences happen which is nothing that surprising since most of them are already shown in the trailer. Overall, The Final Sequence is crude, vulgar, perversely sick, over-the-top in its violence and chessily insane performance, yet still ends up too dull to enjoy even for the fans of the genre.

>>C-<<