Sand Sharks

Well I certainly don't know the answer to that, and judging by what was on display here I am not sure if the movie did either. Haphazardly edited with cheap special effects, Sand Sharks is a poorly-made film, that is further disadvantaged by a number of other things including a soundtrack that is overbearing and in danger of slowing down the film, a script that is filled with bad puns and unbearably cheesy dialogue, a ridiculous and predictable story not helped by the witless premise, characters that are stereotypical, cartoonish and annoying and acting that is generally over-played and forced. The sharks are not menacing at all and their attacks are not thrilling or suspenseful in the least, plus how they are used in this movie is what makes Sand Sharks so ridiculous in the first place. The only redeeming qualities for me were the idyllic opening shot and the likable enough performance of Brooke Hogan, who managed to be the sole redeeming quality of 2-Headed Shark Attack as well. The rest overall was pointless and too annoying and ridiculous to be entertained by. In all honesty reading the reviews here excusing Sand Sharks' badness was much more entertaining than the whole movie put together. 2/10 Bethany Cox

Sand Sharks (2012)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

JAWS meets TREMORS in this silly, straight-to-DVD creature feature that lacks any real bite. A small town discovers that there is a deadly shark swimming through the sand but they're able to destroy it before a bunch of college kids show up for a beach party. As you'd guess, it turns out that the shark was just a baby and soon its mother shows up. If you're looking for some sort of classic then it's best to stick with one of the films mentioned before. If you're looking for a really cheap, really silly movie then SAND SHARKS might just be for you. When you go into a movie like this quality isn't what you should be looking for but instead you can just hope for some "so bad it's good" moments and this film offers plenty of those. I must admit that there were several times where I found myself laughing extremely loud at what's going on in this thing. The first glimpses of the sharks swimming around in the sand were rather hilarious and there are other bits of comedy here that works. One such example is a scene where a woman gets bitten in two and the guy with her tries to save her life by attaching her guts together. The film certainly shouldn't be taken too serious as there are so many logical problems here. With that said, what really kills this movie is the fact that it clocks in at a way-too-long 90-minutes. Remember when movies like this clocked in less than 70-minutes? I guess the films of today must clock in at 90-minutes for television but it's really too bad because if you took out the boring personal drama crap then you'd be left with a fun monster movie. Believe it or not but the performances are actually above average for this type of thing and it appears that Brooke Hogan took some acting classes as her work here is much better than we saw in 2-HEADED SHARK ATTACK. I'm a little surprised that the producers didn't get into some trouble because there are several scenes that rip-off JAWS and the heads of the monsters also rip off the ones in TREMORS. This film here isn't nearly in the same league as those two classics but with dialogue like "We're stuck between a rock and a shark place," you can at least have a laugh.

If you see Mark Atkins as the directors name and you see the title of a movie that looks stupid or looks like a rip-off of a popular title then you know you will get ultra trash.

This here is no exception. But it's so strange to see the name Gina Holden on the credits. Face it, she has done so much excellent horrors like Saw 7, The Butterfly Effect, AVP and I can go on and on. Others here in this cheesy flick deliver performances from stupid ones to wooden ones. But also the CGI used is one to see. It's on of those SyFy quality and you know what that means. As bad as it can get. But I must admit that I somehow enjoyed it because they added some comedy towards this flick. If you take it seriously then you will hate this flick but if you watch it as a stupid flick then you maybe will enjoy if you can dig ultra low budgets. And the production didn't take themselves seriously because in this flick they even mention Roger Corman, so a big hint to what you will get.

It's weird that this is even available in a cut version although it doesn't have that much red stuff in it, except some CGI one. But the uncut version does deliver one gory shot of a copper being bitten in half, intestines shown. Here and there their are a few other nasty shots. Where they also added some comedy is in the fact that a voluptuous girl is getting undressed and is ready to show her juggs is bitten by a sand shark, funny to see and a big finger to the perverted ones out there. So no nudity here.

Get yourself a pint and some crisps and invite a few friends, you surely will have a few laughs. Not as bad as I thought it would be but still, cheesy as hell. And I wont go into the really bad and predictable ending....

Gore 1/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 2/5 Story 2/5 Comedy 1/5

No seriously, what did I watch???

I didn't know whether to cry or laugh at the stupidity throughout the movie.

Sure the CGI isn't great, and the idea of sand sharks itself isn't exactly a genius' work, but that didn't really disturb me. I think the over and under the top acting was the worst part, additionally, whoever took part in writing the script should be shot. I've seen pornos or "romantic dramas" from 1995 with better scripts... (reference:"I like to play games").

I guess I would watch this movie again if friends came over and we would all get really really really high while watching the movie, then I would say it's an amazing comedy.

Damn. I remember when the Scifi channel was a great channel. Battlestar Galactica. Caprica. Classic sf movies. Twilight zone (ok, they still show that). then NBC took over and the channel went down hill, linking up with those losers at The Asylum, where they should all be committed, and showing absolute garbage like this. This crap makes stuff by Shyamalan look good. I'm not even kidding here. Bad acting. Bad SFX, bad story. Bad everything. And then some idiot will say, "Oh it's a homage to the great B's of the past." Ha. These aren't even as good as the trailers of B's of the past. They should all go to Corman school and learn how to do things on a budget. I'm swearing off the formerly known as the scifi channel forever.