I Want to Get Married

....Cause this just ain't what you think it's gonna be.

So, let me be honest with you right up front here. I have NEVER been a great fan of Matthew Montgomery. And despite 15 film roles, for me he has never improved past the point of being an "average" actor. That, and his appearance, as much as anything. There has always been something a little bit "Ratso Rizzo" (for want of a kinder description) about his facial characteristics. So there....now you know how shallow I am.

At last, let's briefly get to the movie, itself (which I tried to watch twice before coming here). ...And by the way, it is a film story of several subplots; in no way does it particularly concentrate on Matthew's character and his idiotic attempts to land the cute man of the cover. Playing an extremely unattractive Super-Geek, the best that Montgomery can bring to the role is a clinching...compressing...contortion of his lips and mouth (and, of course, the supposed-to-be nerdish, black frame glasses). The aforementioned mouth exercising QUICKLY gets very old....while at the same time making it quite difficult to understand our lead's utterances. Worse, this is compounded by one of the most terribly recorded soundtracks I have heard in years. I cannot say enough bad about the original sound-man's work on this film....BUT, Breaking Glass features should be especially ashamed to have their name attached to such a poor sound release.

Finally, it may interest you that, out of the film's near 120 minute running time, Matthew and his bride-to-be (or is it the other way around) are TOGETHER for no more than an amazing 20 minutes of screen time. Leaves a lot to be gotten done in those oh-so-interesting subplots.

My very best advice for you: SAVE YOUR MONEY.

****

Without a doubt, this is the worst LGBTQ movie I've ever seen, which is a shame because it really had some premise at the time it was released. Matthew Montgomery was cast as the lead, and at the time he was starring as as the gay male lead in a lot of movies. He wasn't ever undeniably "great" but he was decent and I actually enjoyed a lot of his movies. In this role, however, William Clift directs his performance abysmally. He doesn't come across as cute, or endearing, or even likeable; he's socially inept to the point of autism, unable to communicate with others either vocally or physically outside of his professional arena (which makes no sense), and his face twitches and contorts more often than a hamster's nose.

All of this being said, there were three bright spots (unfortunately, even they weren't enough to raise the bar on this used litter box). They were: 1) Peter Stickles (been crushing on this man for almost 15 years now) but who is sorely underused; 2) Emrhys Cooper, who is also so striking to look at that it makes it embarassing to overlook his completely underdeveloped character; and 3) Dylan Vox, who uses his unflappable sense of self-deprecating humor (his scene was the only true laugh this movie brought out of me) in a very funny, albeit completely over-the-top scene between he and Montgomery.

I think this is long enough so I'm not even going to get too in-depth about the inane subplot with Montgomery's parents, who are so profoundly inept that they should be confined to a facility providing Lvl III Elderly Care. Nor will I speak to the GOP-level of caricature of the only non-white characters throughout this movie.

It's not merely that this movie is dated (which it is, despite only being 7 years old) but more importantly that it's THAT BAD. Tremendously, horribly, cringe-inducingly bad. I try to have patience with some of the LGBTQ movies that paved the way for the more modern approach but even I can't bring myself to find a reason that this movie should ever be viewed again. BY ANYONE.

I stopped halfway through the movie because I honestly couldn't watch any more of this dreadfully acted movie with terrible cinematography and a horrible attempt at slapstick humor. I have never written a review here but the movie was so bad that I created an account on IMDb and started writing.

Matthew Montgomery, if it is possible, is getting worse as an actor. I didn't read the credits before the movie started or I wouldn't have watched the movie. He is a geek trying to play a geek and missing the mark. He needs to retired soon.

The camera was either too close to the actors or it moved before the actors started moving or it was out of focus or... It bounced around in a bad way to the point of being distracting.

Buster Keaton, Charlie Chaplin and Dick Van Dike are rolling in their graves at the poor attempt at slapstick humor. Oops, Van Dike is still alive, lol. There was so much of it that you could easily predict what was going to happen.

Take my advice and find another movie to watch.

One thing I can say about this movie right out of the gate is that it is just weird. One reviewer said it was the worst gay themed movie they've ever seen. Well, I've seen worse and have commented on several. This movie was often hard to watch but not so bad that I would find myself reaching for the off switch.

Matthews portrayal of Paul is silly and borders on the ridiculous, implying that being a nerd automatically implies social awkwardness. If I were a shrink, I'd say this guy is on the spectrum, maybe even autistic. He excels at his job while his personal life is a mess. His friends love and care about him while at the same time realize he's an idiot. Deep down it seems they were making fun of him.

Realistically speaking, what are the odds that a guy like Paul could land such a hunky boyfriend? Pretty small I'd say.

I agree with the reviewer who said the best thing about this movie was the mid century modern decor in his house.

Pretty poor production values. The sound is terrible and the lighting atrocious. Ex: when an actor is speaking while straying from mid scene it sounds like an echo chamber. With all the technical people listed in the credits you'd think they could make a better effort no matter the budget. This is why they're relegated to doing crap like this.

Why do we Americans produce such substandard stuff like this in this genre? How do they ever make it to a film festival? Foreign productions are so much better once you adjust to the notion of subtitles. Give it a try.

I have read many reviews here after seeing this film, and I am saddened by the word autistic used and derogatory language about the lead actor's performance. I admit that I found it halted the flow of the film initially, but as the scenario progressed I saw a community of friends surrounding him, supporting him and it showed a gay community in a very good light. I found it heartening to see in a comedy ( which has serious undertones ) both Lesbian and Gay men joining together and becoming close friends. Despite my willingness to seeing explicit sexuality on film there was none here, and that too was refreshing after seeing too many shower scenes, gym muscles and inauthentic sex in a lot of independent LGBT films. The plot is about an unsure man who wants to get married, and coming from a repressive family he has misgivings about this but sees a man who is his ideal. No spoilers but the ending takes place at the end of the USA's 2008 election. There is rejoicing in the gay Californian community, but it comes with an unexpected shock to many Lesbian and gay men. No spoilers but the effect struck a real nerve in me, and I knew the film made on a shoestring was very valid indeed. I would give this a ten if the soundtrack had been better, and the camera movements and lack in many places of good editing. Overlaid music also prevented what characters were saying, and the copy I saw looked as if it was shot in the Sahara desert, too bright, too garish especially in exterior scenes. The acting I thought good, and the song towards the end moving with its hints of Kurt Weill. If you are simply after hunks and sexual sensation go elsewhere as the content of this scenario needed neither.