Amsterdam Heavy

No acting, no plot, no direction, no decent music and completely unrealistic hollow characters.

This movie was so stupid and unrealistic a brain dead comatose patient could have come up with a better movie.

How could anyone seriously give this a 10 star rating unless they were a paid shill for the movie.

When I saw the trailer for this movie I thought great a T&A action flick with some women kicking butt. God was the trailer ever misleading. The 30 second trailer I watched pretty much played the better scenes. You could literally fall asleep to this terrible movie and wake up near the end and still think to yourself when will this finally end already!

I will be honest I did try and watch the movie twice in case I misunderstood but I found myself fast forwarding the majority of the movie the second time and eventually got bored. Thank goodness I only paid $2 for this lousy movie from the Wal-Mart junk movie bin where they toss all the bad movies. At least the DVD makes a good over-priced coaster for my beer mug or pop cans.

It's difficult to come up with enough instances of the word "bad" to describe this film -- bad script, bad acting, REALLY bad fight choreography, bad direction, bad music, bad everything. About the only thing it's got going for it is that it was shot in a few exotic locations, if you consider the tourist sections of Amsterdam exotic.

Rik Sinkeldam in the lead part is -- astoundingly -- a worse martial artist than he is an actor. If you watch the trailer and catch some of his wooden acting in it, you'll find it hard to believe that he could do anything worse. But he does. The martial arts in this film could be used as a training video for how NOT to do martial arts.

I guess what should have tipped me off is the same thing that should have tipped me off about the recent "Setup." That film -- also terrible -- tried to use Bruce Willis' name, in a tiny, uninspired part, to sell a horrible idea horribly implemented on film by a horrible director. This one does the same thing, using Michael Madson's name and brief appearance. The only thing that would make either of these films worth having been made in my opinion is that both actors are laughing all the way to the bank, having suckered a bunch of idiots into paying them a lot of money for one's day's work.

When I watch movies about big, angry, bald men who beat up everyone else in the movie, I'm willing to overlook a lot of things: plot, characterization, acting, SFX, etc. All I really ask for is good fight choreography and stunts. Unfortunately, this movie really sucks in that department. Also, the director really isn't very good at directing action scenes, either, so they end up being rather boring. As if all that isn't enough, the movie constantly resorts to filler in order to pad the run-time -- half of the scenes take place in strip clubs. I guess if you're a teenage male, that might be a potential positive, but I don't understand why you'd sit through this bad movie just to see a few breasts when you've got access to the internet.

You're better off just re-watching old Bruce Lee movies. As an added bonus, you generally get much better plot and acting, too.

It seems like this movie is getting some harsh and I would have to argue unfair reviews!

I decided to check out Amsterdam heavy when I saw it for sale in Tescos. With a title like Amsterdam Heavy I was expecting some pretty action-packed, arse kicking fight scenes and that's exactly what this movie is all about!

The story has an entertaining and interesting concept which is delivered through a cast of both up and coming and renowned talent- Michael Madson is particularly of credit in his role as CIA Agent Martin Keele. The movie intertwines violence, action, dark humour and sex appeal to create an action packed 90 minute roller coaster ride into the criminal heart of Amsterdam. Okay so the fight scenes might not quite be Micheal Bay standard- but hey, the guys not the be all and end all… Michael Wright is a talented English director and who said action is dependant on how extreme you can make an explosion?!

If you're looking for a unique watch that will keep your adrenaline pumping and your palms sweaty - Amsterdam Heavy is most definitely movie for you. Check it out.

An entertaining and exhilarating film - 7/10

OK. Cred for producing a film for just half a million. But....

Is this like the banking crisis? Does the production team sit through an early cut and say "Well, we spent all the money, so we HAVE to release it, even though it sucks".

Because if they thought this bit of rubbish was any good, someone wasted their money.

Michael Madsen. You know what? Because it was a solo piece he could have, (maybe did?), shot at home, he does a halfway decent job.

No-one else is worth anything. Dialogue, direction, acting, and - omg - fight direction - all suck. In spades.

And while I'm on it.... 4 positive reviews, all from people who've never reviewed anything before. Is there NO WAY IMDb can do something about this?

No way this even strays into 'so bad its good' territory.

Its just bad. Save your time and money.

Thumbs up for making it for half a million. If they recover even half, it'll be down to the highly mis-representative trailer.