The Taint

I wanted to see this one for a while, just for the sake of the gore since i read it was gory. I didn't expect anything more then just trash and gore, i must say that it's one of the more creative low budget movies i have seen. And that's coming from a guy who had his fair share of B trash goodness, i was suprised. They kept coming up with the most rediculous amounts of semen... cough cough i meant absurdity. Just try to think of it as when you blend Peter Jackson's Bad Taste and John Waters Pink Flamingo's together, and the monstrosity that would be spawned. I had a good time watching The Taint, i was amused by the cheap effects, the Oscar worthy acting, the wigs??? and then i figured out it's a Troma production. Which makes it all even better. Drew Bolduc and Dan Nelson, you guys made a true trash-o-rama masterpiece. I loved it.

Some friends in the UK told me to have a view on this for me unknown flick. I hadn't seen any reviews of it so I just pulled me in unknown territory. Straight from the director's office it was send towards Europe. The only thing I knew was that the effects used for a low budget were excellent as I heard from my UK friends. Well, was I glad that I just watched another weird flick, be honest, if you take it seriously then you will hate it for sure. It's a combination of horror and comedy but it has a really weird twist. When the movie starts the first thing you see are two pair of breasts, in close up, naked. What they are doing there is for me still an enigma but after that shot you're in a hell of a ride in the gory world of the director. But as a low budget, the effects used really works, the score used works out too, you can buy it separatly if you want. Even the editing was nice to see. The only point I wasn't happy with is when one of the figures is telling about how he became what he is it takes a bit too long, especially the laboratory. Luckily after wards it's back to the gory effects. As I said in the beginning, it isn't a flick for everyone but if you for example loved 'die you zombie bastard' then you will love this one too. It's the weirdness that makes you laugh, and for the freaks out there, yes, there is nudity. Sometimes there is a bit of a gay attitude surrounding this flick but I wasn't offended with it, I had a big smile on my face, just see what they did with the working out in a sleeping room, go figure that out. Really, I recommend this to the splatter freaks, just sit down and watch it with a bunch of friends, it only takes a bit more of an hour to sit it through. You wont regret it, yelling a lot of oooo's and aaa's and WTF!.

"The Taint" is a textbook example of an amateur horror movie made by a bunch of over-enthusiast film fanatics that spent way too much time watching 80's junk in their basements. These are the people who watched stuff like "The Dead Next Door", "Street Trash" and maybe even Peter Jackson's "Bad Taste" over and over again whilst promising each other they would make their own movie like that one day. Basically I don't have anything against this type of Z-grade cinema, but I reckon it's a lot more fun to be part of making the film than to actually watch it. "The Taint" is an unbelievably gross, disgusting and offensive bunch of nonsense. Think about Troma's most notorious titles, but multiply the nausea by ten. Writer/director/lead actor Drew Bolduc obviously suffers from an unhealthy obsession for the male reproductive organ. There's an immeasurable amount of fake penises in this film, mostly just hanging out of people's pants or squirting thick white goo into other people's faces. For you see, the water supply is contaminated and turns all the men into zombie-like misogynist monsters with only one remaining purpose in life: smash in the head of every woman that crosses their path. The taint was initially a miracle potion developed by two nerdy scientists who wanted to enlarge their own penis, but a few things went wrong. One of the last remaining uninfected males is high-school stoner Phil O'Ginny, but he needs the help of dominant battle-ax Misandra to survive. Drew Bolduc and his buddies tried really hard to put as many provocative themes into their film. There's scat, teenage abortion with a coat hanger, gang rape, Nazi propaganda and various other filth. The images are never shocking, though, since the whole thing is just too ludicrous. Unfortunately the vast majority of the film is dull and stupid, especially since all characters (even the most insignificant supportive ones) insist on telling their boring life stories during idiotic and irrelevant flashbacks. Strangely – and surprisingly - enough, "The Taint" isn't all too awful from a more technical point of view. With this type of amateur junk, I expect to see dodgy hand-held camera-work and lousy hyperactive editing, but this one is relatively well-made and decent. The acting performances are horrendous, but that's obligatory and part of the charm. The gore and splatter effects, on the other hand, are quite stupendous! I presume 99% of the non- existent budget went straight to fake blood and make-up. With all the computer engineered crap nowadays, the grossness in "The Taint" was more than praiseworthy. Avid fans of trash and schlock will have a great time tracking down this sick puppy. Personally, I thought it was okay, but it could have used less idiocy and a lot less penises.

The Taint has one of the best fake penis shoot outs of all time. I've never seen so many exploding ding-dongs in one sitting. But it's not ALL penises. There's multiple head crushings. A Squirrel has it's head whipped off. And faces are ripped off in a timely fashion.

The Taint is a truly wonderful experience of exploding genitalia, body fluids, and gore.

Highly recommended.

For those that are not a fan of the genre, this film is unlikely to revive your enthusiasm for the topic, however, fans are in for a treat. Its highly underatted. First and foremost it is a comedy for the not so easily offended. Im personally a big fan of Troma and found this number injected some fresh blood into the teams filmography. Theres definately some clear movie influences like homage to Bad Taste, but it carves its own atmosphere with terrific sets, characters and effects for a low budget. Its very funny, I imagine its the extreme violence and graphic nudity which put alot of viewers off.